Requests
by Athese
Summary: A Mikey-centric request page consisting of one-shots. Rated T for obvious reasons. Chapter 8: Mikey is captured by Hun and his goons after sneaking out. Full warnings at the end.
1. Chapter 1

Okay here's the thing, I've been noticing a lack of turtle centric (Not just Mikey, but all of the turtles) stories. Just simple stories where one or two brothers get into trouble, get hurt, tortured, stitched up etc. I see a lot of Au's about OC's, or AUs, sisters etc. and there's nothing wrong with that at all, don't get me wrong, but I just don't like reading them. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. So I decided to open a request story, everyone (with the exceptions of guests, sorry but I want to PM you) can request a story/one-shot. Important is that I don't have all the time in the world, so they may take some time, and I won't do everything. Make the details on the request too thorough, and I maybe won't like it, make it too vague.. you get the point. Don't be afraid to request anything, because we're all fucked up anyways :D As long as it's about Mikey, and there's something like brotherly fluff or hurt going on, no prominent OC's please, and I won't do tcest. Try to make a clear request and if you want something specific, ask: Like _I want a hug moment between Leo and Mikey._

Let's see if the idea catches on, and maybe more authors will follow ^^ (And maybe it will totally flop or I can't work with the ideas, who knows. For now, I'd like to give it a try)

Requests done so far:

Chapter 1: Raph never snapped out of his mind control and Mikey is affected by this (Not a request)  
Chapter 2: Leo is frustrated about his injured leg at the farm house and Mikey cheers him up.  
Chapter 3: Mikey messes up and his brothers get angry at him, but not long after his brothers are in danger and Mikey sacrifices himself to save his brothers (No character Death, just injuries)  
Chapter 4: Mikey was mutated in the series' finale instead of Leo. (Special request for No Guns Only Roses)  
Chapter 5: Someone kidnaps Mikey because he knows Mikey has gotten powers from the mutagen, and wants to turn him in a weapon.

TMNT

Summary: Raph never broke free from his mind control and Mikey tries to protect him from his own family.

Rated T, probably M but you know my stories aren't M :D

* * *

Leo sighs, his shell against the side of the door opening, looking at the sight in front of him with a frown on his face. I close my eyes for a second, trying to make eye contact with Leo but he ignores me for a moment, only looking at his two sleeping brothers with sadness in his eyes, regret and guilt.

"Are we really doing this?" I ask eventually, causing Leo to finally acknowledge me. He looks at me, tears brimming in his eyes.

"He's suffering Don, there's no other way" This time I'm the one who looks away, my gaze wandering to my only little brother sleeping with a troubled face. "They both are". I nod absently, knowing the mental state my little brother was in right now. I slowly walk up to him, shaking his shoulders lightly.

"Mikey" I mutter, careful not to wake Raph up as well. He groans, blinking a couple of times before his blue eyes focus on me.

"What?" He asks, eyes flickering to the still sleeping form of Raph and then back to me. The small glimmer of hope that had been present just seconds ago gone. Because he knew Raph's condition hadn't changed yet. He seemed fine right now, sleeping on his own bed, with Mikey guarding him.

But underneath the blankets was a different story. There were skinny arms, muscle disappearing from the lack of movement, for 6 months. Restraints around his fragile wrists to keep him from running off, back to the Shredder. And a constant headache because of the turmoil of having two minds inside of one.

Raph and Shredder's minion, dark Raph.

"We need to talk to you" Leo steps in, glancing at the sleeping figure of Raph. "In private" Mikey frowns at the urgent tone in his voice, and reluctantly stands up, walking out of the door without waiting for us.

I glance at Leo for a second, silently communication at the suspicion that Mikey already knew what was going on, or had the feeling that something was going on. Because he always had a sense for when bad things were about to happen. Like the night he was getting restless and uneasy, the night Raph was captured.

Or when he didn't trust Raph being back to his old self. And we did.

I rub at my arm, the scar still there from Raph… Dark Raph attacking us that night. When we released his restraints without listening to Mikey, and he slashed me up pretty bad. Irony in the whole situation that Mikey was the one to actually take Raph down in the end, while he had been the one pleading not to hurt him.

Struck him at the back of the head while glaring furiously at the both of us. He hasn't spoken to us for days after that had happened, but then again, he hasn't spoken to us that much after we captured Raph and brought him back to our lair, desperately trying to bring the real Raph back.

 _But failing every time._

TMNT

"Hear me out" Leo says, watching as Mikey sits down in the dojo. "Raph is suffering, both Raph's are. And we have no way of curing him" The orange clad turtle blinks one time, then another. Not getting where Leo was hinting at, or he just didn't want to accept it.

"It's been six months, you can see the damage on his body" The decreasing muscle, the sick complexion. "Neither of them has lived in the past 6 months Mikey, they are suffering, we know Raph is still conscious in there…" I add, painfully remembering spoonfeeding Raph in an attempt to keep him alive, and in the end feeding him through an IV as he refused to eat.

After 1 month of imprisonment he already wanted to die, Dark Raph wanted to die. He knew we wouldn't let him go, but we wouldn't let him die either.

Clinging onto the tiny possibility that Raph would come back.

"Just say it, I can handle it" Mikey scowls and I wince at the harsh tone.

"We want to let Raph rest"

…

It only takes a few seconds for Mikey to process what Leo was implying exactly. Immediately his face contorted in an angry glare.

"No" He stands up, ignoring me completely as he walks up to Leo. "Don't even think I'm letting you touch him, or you!" He growls, directing his gaze towards me for a second before turning back to Leo. The latter doesn't back down, standing his ground as Mikey almost touches his beak with his own, glaring the entire time.

"Mikey, he's suffering. You just can't see it"

"And I don't care!" Mikey yells back at me, now walking up to me with narrowed eyes. I cautiously take a step back but Mikey just takes another step forwards. "You are not killing him" He snares, but I keep my face neutral. He's grown taller too in the last 6 months, almost at Leo's height right now.

"Let's.. wait a few days" Leo says cautiously, glancing at me. I frown, he's trying to tell me something. So I nod, taking another step back. Mikey keeps glaring, this time directed at Leo.

"We're giving him as many days as he needs" Mikey mutters, turning his shell to me and walking out of the door. I knew where he was heading, Raph's room again. A place he's been a lot in the last months. I sigh, turning to Leo and waiting for him to start.

"Did you notice that he was shaking?" He asks me and I blink, shaking my head. "He was, and he was very tense"

"Mental breakdown?" I ask and Leo nods, I curse. "Not again" I mutter, sitting down on the ground, head in my hands.

"I don't know for sure but he did the exact same thing a few weeks after…" he stops himself, sitting down next to me and throwing an arm around me, bringing me closer.

"I miss him" I suddenly mumble, glancing at the photo on the shelf, next to dad's picture of him, Tang Shen and Miwa. His smiling face, now as a rat and surrounded by the four of us.

Leo sighs next to me. "I do too Don" I know it's harder for Leo that he's gone, Leo was the head of the family now, he had to make the important decisions. It was a burden I would never want to carry on my shoulders.

TMNT

" _Careful, he probably suspects we're coming after them" Leo whispers and I nod, following him silently and blending in with the shadows. The only thing visible was a vague outline and the white eyes that were focused on the windows leading to Shredder's lair._

 _Leo signs for me to come closer before pointing at the window. I nod, not needing any words to know what Leo was referring to. I place the tool on the glass, easily cutting through the glass. Carefully I remove it, sticking my hand through the newly created hole and opening the window from the inside. Silently we slip inside, making no noise at all._

 _I narrow my eyes, crouching down at the ledge. Shredder was nowhere to be seen, but we knew he was in Japan right now. Instead Rahzar and Fishface were near the throne, not even on high alert, with multiple foot bots guarding the room. Leo signs again and I nod, jumping after him the moment he jumps down._

" _The turtles!" Fish Face screams, drawing his blade and running towards me, while Rahzar is running straight at Leo. I easily dodge the blade, knocking it out of his hands with my staff._

" _Where's Stockman?" I growl, jumping away as Fish face aims a kick at me. I jab my staff near his gills, making him yell in protest. Immediately I spin around, hitting the foot boots that were approaching me, slicing them in half. I dodge Fish Face again, getting rid of the foot bots first. I can see that Leo has the same plan and within minutes all of them are down._

" _Tell me, where are your brothers?" Rahzar snickers, only ticking Leo off further. He charges, knocking Rahzar down and wrapping a chain around him, effectively dying him down, and I do the same with Fish Face._

" _Where is Stockman?" Leo asks this down and Rahzar growls at him. Leo growls right back, striking the mutant wolf with his fist and knocking him out. He glares at Fish Face but the mutant doesn't take the opportunity to talk. He looks at me, and I easily bring my bo staff down on his head._

 _TMNT_

 _We eventually find him in the basement in Shredder's lair, in a makeshift lair after we destroyed it 6 months ago. And I'm grateful that it's a different room, I didn't know if I could visit the room where dad was…_

" _Aargh!" Stockman screams as rope suddenly wraps around his arms and wings, keeping him rooted on the ground. Granted he has never been too much of a fighter so taking him down was fairly easy. However, the moment when we approach him he starts to snicker, like he knows something we don't._

" _You know why we're here" Leo states with a confident voice._

" _Then that means he's still under the control of the brain worm" Stockman replies with a smug undertone, buzzing throughout the sentence._

" _And what do you know about that" I glare, pointing the blade in my bo staff at his throat._

" _I know that it's already too late to save him, the brain work makes his way into the brain within 2 weeks, removing the brain worm means killing him." He buzzes again. "Not even a doctor could safely remove it, your brother is gone"_

 _The blade had disappeared into his throat the moment Leo nodded at me._

TMNT

 _Not even a doctor could safely remove it, your brother is gone; and so was the mind that was transferred into Raph's body. He couldn't escape the foreign body either. So they were stuck, both wanting release._

Someone groans softly and immediately I snap my gaze to the source of the sound, staring into two green eyes.

"Raph?" I ask with uncertainty laced in my voice, hesitantly I reach for his hand, squeezing it gently.

"Mikey?" His voice is troubled, raspy and I nod, tears jumping in my eyes. I knew it was him, I knew it was the real Raph.

"Is that really you?" And yet I still asked. "Tell me something only you can know"

Tears welled up in Raph's eyes as well, conflicted between being confused and happy. Confused why Dark Raph suddenly let him have control, why he had suddenly won the battle over Dark Raph. But happiness because for the first time in so many months, he could talk again and control his own body.

"We used to sing each other a lullaby when we were younger" Raph whispers and that's the only thing I need before I wrap my arms around him, squeezing him tightly. Tears stream down my face but I hide my face in the crook of his neck. We stay silent for a moment until Raph groans again.

"What's wrong?" I ask immediately, untangling myself from the hug.

"Headache, he's still fightin'" Raph mutters and I sigh, feeling the smile leave my face. "The restraints?" He weakly pulls at them, fingers trembling as he suddenly moves his hand to his own will.

I shake my head, feeling the tears fall down "How much did you hear, Don suspected… but he didn't know for sure"

This time it's Raph who casts his head away. "Every time he was awake I could see hear everythin', see everything'..." He stops, but I know what he's trying to say, he was fully conscious the entire time, there was just someone else controlling his body. He couldn't decide where he looked at, when he closed his eyes, how he moved…

"Then you know why I can't remove them" I whisper, tears appearing in my eyes once again. "I missed you so much _Aniki_ ". His expression falters, tears falling down his cheeks, I reach for his hand, wrapping mine around it and squeezing it tightly in reassurance.

TMNT

"And?" I ask as Mikey walks out of the door, there's conflict in his eyes, conflicted between being happy, angry or sad. He looks at me, still with anger in his eyes but he sighs.

"It was him" His voice is so vulnerable, relieved but broken at the same time. "I told you he was still there.. there's still a chance" I sigh at the comment but decide not to argue with him. Not after this, so I don't, instead I walk up to him, wrapping my arms tight around him, squeezing him against me.

He accepts silently, wrapping his arms around my body as well, burying his face in my plastron.

"I don't want him to die" He sobs, voice muffled. I squeeze my eyes shut, Raph and I may fight a lot, and have plenty of arguments but he was my brother, and we loved each other like no other human sibling could. We grew up together with no contact with others, we only had the four of us and dad.

But I couldn't get myself to verbally agree.

TMNT

"Don?" I close my eyes as Mikey calls my name, lowering my gaze in shame. "Why isn't Raph in his bed?' There was a sharp tone in his voice, an accusing one. I stay silent, because I knew that Mikey had already figured it out. But he of course wouldn't take silence for an answer, and the next thing i know is being spun around.

"Don" He growls this time, glaring at me with tears in his eyes. "Where is Raphael?"

I try to lower my gaze again but he grabs my face, forcing me to look at him, like a mother scolding a child. And Mikey was pissed.

"I'm sorry" I whisper, tears welling up in my eyes and the next thing I know is a fist connecting to my head, I stumble, falling off my chair and onto the ground, landing on my wrist at an awkward angle.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" Mikey screams, jumping on my body and delivering another punch to my mouth, blood exploding from my mouth. "HOW COU-"

"MIKEY!" A sharp voice suddenly interrupted him and an arm wrapped around Mikey's torso, pulling him backwards. The orange turtle lands on his shell, blinking a few times and looking at Leo until a glare returns to his face.

"YOU BASTARD!" He growls, his anger suddenly directed at Leo and he swings his arm, Leo barely able to block it before it hits his face. I jump up, running to the syringes as quickly as I could. "HE WAS YOUR BROTHER, OUR BROTHER!" Mikey screamed, and a sudden grunt from Leo was heard.

"He was suffering Mikey!" Leo shouts back, but significantly calmer than the youngest of the family.

"YOU WANTED HIM DEAD, DIDN'T YOU?!" At this Leo staggers back, hurt in his eyes that he did not often display, but I knew that it hurt more than every punch Mikey could ever deliver.

"I never wanted him-" Mikey punches him straight in the jaw before delivering a powerful kick to his side, causing Leo to grumble to the ground.

"HE WAS FAMILY, HOW COULD YOU JUST KILL HIM LIKE THAT?!" He pulls his arms backwards again but before he can hit Leo again, the needle has already disappeared in his neck. He struggles, and he struck out towards me with his fist, but I quickly block him, taking a step back. He spins around, delivering a kick to the back of my knees.

I yell, my knee falling out beneath me but Leo suddenly wraps his arms around Mikey's plastron again, pulling Mikey's shell against his plastron.

"LET ME GO! YOU'RE MURDERS" He thrashes as much as he could but the sedative was quickly overpowering him, tears started streaming down his face. "You killed him, he was my brother" His voice seemed to be stuck in his throat, and it only came out as a high pitched voice.

Slowly his struggles lessened until he completely fell limp, slumping against Leo's body. The blue clad turtle fell down almost, keeping Mikey in his hold and buried his face in the youngest' shoulders, crying. Don wrapped his arms around the two, sobbing at the possibility of having lost not one brother, but two.

TMNT

" _He was angry at you, he told me" Dark Raph says tiredly and Leo looks at him with a murderous look. I put a hand on his hand, calming him down. Leo sighs, taking a deep breath before nodding._

" _Do you know why?" I ask with a flat voice and Dark Raph eventually nods. A silence ensues for a couple of minutes._

" _We both want to be free" He admits after the silence and I nod, already knowing this. "You could let me go"_

" _You know we won't, Raph is still in there" Leo retorts with a glare, crossing his arms over his chest. Dark Raph sighs, closing his eyes a little too long for it to be considered blinking. He carefully tests his bonds, but again they don't give in._

" _You want to kill me" He suddenly conducts without any emotion in his voice, because he was content with the thought. I lower my head in shame, it was one thing to discuss it with Leo... "Do it" I look up, gazing in his eyes, Raph's eyes, but at the same time, it wasn't my brother. It was someone else._

" _I know Shredder is dead, and I know that the Brain worm can't be removed after all these months. And you're not letting me go. I don't want to live my life like this forever. If that means dying, so be it" There was absolutely no remorse or sadness in his voice, just defeat he was trying to cover up._

 _Leo continues to glare at him. "And what do we gain from killing you?"_

" _The knowledge that your brother isn't suffering anymore" He says sharply. We stay silent for a while, were we really about to agree to this? "I can let you talk to your brother in personal"_

 _My eyes widen at the sentence, talk to my immediate older brother? For the first time in 5 months. Because that's how long it had been, 5 months. He had managed to fight Dark Raph for a month a couple of times, breaking free and being able to talk to us. But after a month Dark Raph became too strong, and Raph became weaker every single day._

" _What's the catch?" Leo asks, his eyes narrowed in suspicion._

" _That you promise to kill me afterwards."_

TMNT

We knew that we did the right thing, our talk with Raph had confirmed our thoughts and plans of killing Dark Raph, and ultimately Raph as well. And when Dark Raph allowed Raph to take control for the first time in 5 months, we talked, about a lot of stuff. The past, the future and the present. We talked for hours, alone and later on Raph talked with Leo as well.

And with the three of us, and eventually with Mikey as well. Though he didn't know that it was all a setup, that it was planned, and that we had already talked to us. Not like it mattered, he wouldn't've called us either way to talk to Raph as well.

But one thing became clear in our conversation, it was that Raph would choose dying over living the rest of his life like this any other day. We knew this, Mikey knew this, because Raph told us. He'd forgive us if we killed him, if we'd free him from this constant suffering.

 _So we killed him._

That was 3 months ago, and Mikey still hasn't talked to us.

TMNT

For the record, that was the last time I'm killing anyone from the Hamato family in this story and probably in the rest of my stories.


	2. Chapter 2

First request! This one was requested by BubblyShell22

Summary: Leo is frustrated about his injured leg and Mikey catches on, trying to help Leo. Takes place during the episode of the Chimera (Eyes of the Chimera) , but the chimera thing never actually happened. (Or will still happen, you decide)

Rated T

TMNT

"You know it works better if you actually get into the tub" I say in a soft voice, my hand on the door opening and looking at the figure in the bathroom. Leo looks around, looking at me with an almost frightened expression, looking like a cornered animal.

Then he scowls, turning his head to the tub again. "I know that" He mumbles and I walk into the room. Silently I put an arm around his shell, taking the free arm that wasn't clutching to the bathtub. "I can do it myself" He almost growls, shrugging off my hand. I lightly release my hold but I don't back off.

"Leo, let me help you. It's just because your leg isn't fully healed yet. Not because you're weak" Leo blinks a couple of times because that was exactly what he was thinking, we all knew each other too well. It was near impossible to hide these things from us.

"I don't want your help Mikey" Leo grinds out but I shake my head, knowing that he was just frustrated with himself, with his leg.

"Let me help Leo, it's not bad to ask for help sometimes." I coax him, wrapping my arm around his shell again, this time he doesn't shrug me off but he doesn't comply either. "Leo.. you help me as well; Don and Raph do ask help from time to time as well. What's so bad about asking for help?"

"Because I'm the older brother; the leader. I shouldn't be.. I should be out there leading you." He grinds out, lowering his head. "I'm useless with my leg"

My face falls at the confession. Was he really thinking that he was useless without his leg? "Leo" I say sternly, and Leo looks at me with a surprised gaze.

"It's true okay?!" He shouts at me, looking at me with a frustrated look on his face. "I just keep holding you back with training and I get hurt the moment I try to train, I'm useless to the team" He scowls, hopping away from the tub and sliding down the wall. I sit down on my knees, in front of him.

"Is that all we are?" Leo frowns, looking at me. "Leo, we're so much more than a team, we're also brothers, a family."

"But with my leg-" Leo starts to protest but I shake my head.

"You won't be able to train yourself until you're healed but you can give us guidance, support. And look around you, we're in the middle of nowhere bro. We're safe"

"Like the mom-thing, or the punk frogs?" Leo asks, with a smirk on his face. I beam at his expression.

"Nothing we couldn't handle" I smile but then I turn serious again. "I mean it Leo, you're so much more than just our leader. You're our Aniki, we need you. And when your leg heals you can train again, until then you can mother hen and be all protective like you always are, without moving that leg" I stay sternly, poking his injured leg with my finger, a smile on my face.

He looks up at me, still frowning. "Don't you mean _if_?" He scowls but I shake my head again.

" _When_ your leg heals" I tell him and Leo nods. "Now c'mon, you stink" I laugh and Leo kicks out with his good leg, but I quickly dodge it, laughing. Leo grins as well and I help him up, guiding him over to the tub.

"You've gotten stronger" He states blankly as I help him into the water. I blush, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I've been working out more ever since we got here, to keep myself busy." I look away for a second, blinking away the tears that were threatening to appear in my eyes. Leo however, seems to notice and reaches out a hand, gripping mine and preventing me from walking away.

I turn to him as well. "I haven't seen you train" He says with a confused voice, but concern was laced in his eyes.

"That's because I stopped when you woke up. And no that's not your fault!" I quickly add, I sigh. "Look Leo.. we were lost without you. The invasion, you in a coma and dad.. it took a toll on all of us. Don was constantly working and Raph was looking after you. April and Casey, I don't even know what they've been doing, I needed something to keep my mind off of things"

"And that was training?" Leo asks with a dubious tone in his face. I snort, splashing a face full of water at him before standing up.

"Call me if you need any help getting out fearless leader" I tell him, waiting for him to respond but he nods, telling me it's okay to leave.

TMNT

"Mikey?" I hum, looking up at my approaching brother. Leo slowly walks over to me, heavily leaning against his cane that help him upright. I fought down the urge to run over to him to help him out, but I stayed rooted.

"Do that again" I frown, confused for a second before he draws a circle in the air and I know that he was talking about the flips I was practising. I take a few steps backwards, avoiding being anywhere near Leo as I start running. I jump forwards, landing on my hands and catapulting myself forwards.

My body twisted mid-air, striking as if the nun chucks were in my hands before rolling over my shoulder and twisting an outstretched leg just over the ground. At least that was the intention, instead my other foot got stuck and I crashed onto the ground, groaning again as it once again failed.

"What was that supposed to be?" Leo grinned, having hobbled over to where I was laying, I grin, standing up and brushing the dirt of my limbs.

"A kata I learned in dimension X, i just can't seem to perfect it" Leo frowns at the mention of that place. After we all came back it had always been a sensitive subject to talk about, even if it hadn't happened that long ago for them. But to me it was almost 6 months ago that I entered dimension X.

"You hurt yourself" Leo suddenly states with a guilty look on his face, his eyes gazing at the bruise that was on the side of my leg. Not to mention the small scrapes.

"Yea that happens when you fall" I grin but Leo doesn't, and I sigh. "Leo we're ninjas, we've been injured before. On patrol but also during training" Leo scoffs, looking at his own leg at the mention of injures. And I'm almost surprised that he dropped my injury so soon.

"Not again Leo" I plead almost desperately, putting a hand on his shoulder. I look up to the farmhouse, only spotting Don's presence in the barn but no one else. Raph was probably in the house and I knew Casey and April were getting groceries. "Walk with me?" I ask, not leaving much room for debate.

Leo looks at me with a slightly surprised expression but doesn't complain, simply walks with me as we both walk in the direction of the forest. We don't really talk until we get to the spot I was heading for, the creak I found when the mom-thing wanted to dump mutagen into the water.

"So what are we doing here?" Leo eventually asks as we reach the spot and I gesture him to come into the water. He seems to hesitate for a moment, glancing at his leg but I drag him ahead gently, helping him to step into the water and sitting down on the grass, legs still in the water.

"Nothing" I smile, leaning backwards until my shell was laying on the grass. "You know I said I didn't know where the mom-thing dumped that mutagen?" Leo stays silent so I take it as a yes, as I couldn't see him nod.

"I lied, I secured the mutagen after the punk frogs don't worry, but I wanted to keep this place a secret for now."

"Why?" Leo asks.

"Because I needed it?" I ask myself, doubtful as well. "No offense to you guys, but I needed some time alone."

"Like you did at home?" Leo questions and this time I frown, opening my eyes and looking at him with a confused expression. He's looming over me slightly, looking at me with a curious but also concerned expression on his face, legs also in the water like mine were. I sit up with a frown on my face.

"You knew about that?" I ask. I thought I was always very smooth in hiding my little runaways, that no one noticed that I was gone and made the connection that I needed to be alone for a while.

"What kind of Aniki would I be if I didn't notice?" Leo smiled and I grin slightly, moving my feet back in the water a bit, enjoying the cool water on my feet.

"I brought you here to relax Leo" I eventually state after a short silence and Leo gazes at his leg for a moment. "You've been so tense lately, you've been overworking yourself, trying to heal and trying to get back to being our leader… and I know about the nightmares"

Leo immediately winces, recoiling slightly away from me, instantly his muscles tense and he looks away. I sigh, looking at my oldest brother but not reaching out because I knew that, just like me, just like everyone in the family, we hid things from each other. They thought I was the only one who didn't.

But I was pretty sure only Leo had caught on on my nightmares from the past three months without dad, and he knew about my time in dimension X. That I certainly wasn't fine after being stuck there for months. And I knew that pressuring him into talking would only have the opposite effect.

"You heard?" He asks and I nod slowly. He looks at me, the silent question all too evident in his eyes. _Why?_

"Couldn't sleep, you know why" I mumble, looking at the water in front of me. "Ever since I found this place, I keep coming here to take a nap." I point at a spot at the end of the water, where it eventually got deeper and wider.

"Around three the sun gets past the trees and illuminates like half the water, it's a perfect basking spot" Leo seems to think for a moment, looking back at the farmhouse, or at least in the direction of the farmhouse. Then he turns to me, with a smile on his face.

"I think the guys be okay without us for a few hours"


	3. Chapter 3

For BrightLotusMoon, who wanted Mikey screwing up, but saving their lives later on and being injured. (One I can definitely get behind ^^)

* * *

"Mikey, be quiet!" Leo hisses angrily, glaring at his younger brother with narrowed, white eyes. Mikey grins sheepishly, crouching down on all four again, concentrating on the streets below him again. He twitches as minutes tick by, switching his weight slightly to relieve the tension on his muscles.

But it didn't work.

"How long?" Mikey whispers and Raph growls as a warning. "Right…" Their waiting eventually got rewarded when a white van parked inside the alley they were currently watching, three man stepping out of the car with different weapons in their hands and tattoos littered on their entire body, purple dragons

Mikey looks up but Leo shakes his head, signing him to wait some more, they first needed the other party to show up. The purple dragons would apparently be receiving new weapons from Europe today, and the turtles were hellbent on stopping that from happening.

"So you did show up" Someone suddenly said and the turtles turned their head to the end of the alley, where another man was hiding in the shadows. The purple dragons didn't seem very pleased.

"Do you have the weapons?" The other man grins, standing up and taking a suitcase with him. Leo signs for the guys to the suitcase and they just nod, totally focused on what was happening beneath. He holds up a hand, signing for them to stay put and not attack them at this point, wait for orders.

They do, except Mikey shifts his weight again, taking a small step to the ledge of the roof when suddenly the part crumbles. Mikey lets out a yell when the ground suddenly disappears from under him, losing his balance and falling. He immediately fires his grappling hook, steadying himself and landing gracefully in the middle of the gang.

"Mikey!"

He grins sheepishly at them, the grin immediately disappearing as his brothers drop down next to him in the alley, weapons drown. The purple dragons blink in shock but immediately lift their weapons as well. His brother glare at him but he averts his gaze, gripping his nun chucks tight and charging in onto the purple dragons.

The fight didn't take long, the moment they had attack the purple dragons had scattered, and so did the man. The only thing left was a single case.

"Way to go Mikey" Leo grumbles, walking over to Donnie as he was inspecting the case.

"I'm sorry guys, but we got the case right?" Mikey tries, taking a step towards his two brothers but a hand on his plastron from Raph makes him stop.

"What you did was not pay attention to your surroundings, they had more weapons, and that's gone now" Don snaps and Mikey's eyes widen slightly at the words.

"I'm.. sorry" He tries but snaps his beak shut as Leo stands up, eyes narrowed.

"You need to focus more Mikey, this time we got out, this time we only lost weapons that could take us out next time. But next time it _could_ be one of us. You need to stop being so immature" Leo says, his voice accusing but calm at the same time.

"You're unfocused, you goof off and don't take anything seriously, you could get us killed one day" he continues with a stern expression on his face.

"I-.. I get it" Mikey says quietly, turning around and climbing onto the roof again.

"Should we go after him?" Don asks quietly, case in his hands but Leo shakes his head, looking at his immediate younger brother for a second before turning to Don again. "He needs to learn that this isn't a place to be joking around, he messed up" Raph and Don sigh, nodding in understanding and agreement.

TMNT

After dropping the case off in the sewers to be picked up later they continued patrol again, running around for an hour until Leo came to a stop on a large rooftop, and he sat down on a ledge that was in the middle of the roof. Raph and Don approach him, watching him closely.

"So what are we gonna do about Mikey?" Raph asks, earning a sharp look from Donnie. "What? We're all thinking it"

Don sighs, but nods. Opening his mouth but Raph beats him to it. "I don't think he should be on the team anymore" Leo narrows his eyes at the statement but doesn't immediately deny the statement either.

"We can't just throw him off the team Raph" Don says sharply.

"And why the hell not? I don't want it either but if he can't focus one of us could be killed 'kay?" Raph yells back. Leo suddenly stands up, narrowing his eyes.

"Guys.." He says, and the two brothers immediately quiet down, hawking at the suddenly filling rooftop.

"Look at you, trapped like rabbits" Rahzar grins, taking a step forwards. He was alone this time, no Fish Face, no Shredder besides him. Alone, if not for the rooftop filled with footbots. The three brothers silently take out their weapons, standing shell to shell to shield each other for the foot bots that were circling around them.

"Bring it on dog" Raph growls and Rahzar yaps at him, grinning almost.

"Foot bots, attack!"

TMNT

 _"_ _Goof-off"_

 _"_ _Idiot"_

I sigh, bringing my knees up to my my plastron. I knew I had screwed up the mission but this time it wasn't even my fault, how could I have known that the roof was going to crumble? I scowl in annoyance, _this_ time nobody got hurt at least. _This_ time they didn't have to pay for my screw-ups.

 _"_ _You're going to get us killed"_

 _"_ _He was injured because of you"_

I quietly trace a finger along my legs, where numerous scars littered my limbs. We all had them, all four of us with our lifestyle. Injures were unavoidable, didn't mean we didn't try to avoid them as much as possible.

 _"_ _Look at him Michelangelo"_

 _"_ _I am disappointed in you my son"_

The words weren't foreign to me either, not hard if everyone keeps throwing them at you. They just didn't understand.

I suddenly jolted as my phone started to buzz in my belt, and I quickly took it in my hand, looking at the message. My eyes immediately widened as I saw what was on the screen. It was the distress signal, coming from Don. I open my phone, immediately tracking Don's. It doesn't take long and I start running the moment it has his location.

I curse, it would take me at least minutes to get there. And the more minutes I wasted…

I shake my head with a growl, jumping over the alleys and onto a new roof. I barely felt my legs as I raced across the rooftops, two streets away right now, one street. And that's when I spotted the first sight of destruction, footbots littered the rooftop and the alley below, and my stomach dropped as I saw blood.

But the fight was already over.

"Get off me" Raph growled loudly, yelling in pain as he was shoved to the ground, his hands bound behind his shell. I wince, heart aching but I couldn't jump in blindly, it would be suicide.

"Anata wa watashitachi no otouto ni renraku shimashita ka?" Leo hisses to Donnie and I perk up a bit upon hearing Leo speak Japanese, otouto… he was avoiding using my name, to avoid Rahzar figuring out they were talking about me.

"Yatta, watashi wa negaimasu" Don replied, glancing at the mutant approaching them. I cringe again, _Oh Don, I'm already here. If you only knew. You did contact me, and I'm going to help you guys._ But I couldn't tell him right now, so both Leo and Don were left wondering if I had received the distress signal.

If someone was getting them out of this mess.

"Where's the fourth turtle?" Rahzar growled, towering over my kneeling brothers. I clench my fists as both Leo and Raph start to struggle against the grip the foot bots had on them, only to give up with a pained hiss, arms simultaneously spasming in pain from the tight grip they inflicted.

"He's not here dog" Raph spat and Rahzar growls in anger, snatching Raph's phone from his belt. I silently gasp, taking my phone and turning it off completely. A long silence ensues but nothing happens and Rahzar growls again, throwing the phone behind him. Raph merely glares at the mutant.

"Then you will tell me" I look at them again, cringing as I scanned the three of them. They had blood on their bodies, cuts and scrapes littered their body. Red spots were covering them and Raph's wrist seemed to be discolouring already, Don's cheek and eye swelling while Leo's mask was ripped and a long cut was leaking blood into his eye.

Then with one quick movement Rahzar raised his claw and swiped it sideways along Raph's collarbone. I stiffen a yell, watching hopelessly as blood flies into the air and Raph is knocked sideways. And then it didn't matter anymore, a plan didn't matter anymore, the only thing that mattered was Raph's cry of pain.

"RAHZAR!" I screamed, averting his attention from attacking Raph again, and he looked at me. I narrowed my eyes, slamming a nun chuck in his face and he stumbles backwards, growling at me and snapping his teeth. And yet a grin appears on his face.

"Wondered when you'd show up" Rahzar grins and immediately foot bots run over to stand beside the mutant.

"Jikkō! Anata wa karera to tatakau koto wa dekimasen!" Leo screams and I don't even know if he realises if he's speaking Japanese but I don't react to it, Sorry Leo but this time I wouldn't run, and I could fight them, because the lives of my brothers were at stake. So I held my ground, narrowed eyes.

Rahzar snaps with his teeth again, and the foot bots take this as their cue, and they all run towards me. The ones holding my brothers fortunately not attacking. Not like it mattered anyways, there were too many to begin with.

I grit my teeth, jumping over numerous foot bots and attacking them from behind. I manage to land a few hits, crumbling the foot bots to bits before something collides with my shell. I stumble forwards, whirling around and blinding hitting another foot bot. He screeches, falling to the ground.

More were closing in and I pant, more attack, and I avoid them, hitting them with my chucks directly afterwards. Then I suddenly bolt, trying to escape Rahzar's attack but it's futile and his nails scrape my tight. I cry out, rolling away and skidding to a stop, clutching my now bleeding thigh.

I heard shouts coming from behind me, my brothers, but I paid no attention to them. I had to.. unless. I look up, dodging Rahzar and hitting him in the back. Foot bots encircled me and I jumped over a few of them, throwing a smoke bomb. I glanced at my brothers, 6 were guarding my brothers.

Only 6 to destroy…

I threw another smoke bomb, engulfing the roof top in purple smoke. And I immediately bolted over to my brothers.

"Mikey run! Please run" Don screams as I run over to them but I ignore him, throwing out my chain and wrapping it around two of the foot bots, using the momentum to throw them into another. I glance at the purple smoke, foot bots running at me again. I pick up 2 tanto's, throwing them into the heads of the foot bots, running at the last one holding Leo.

"Mikey" Leo pleads and I land in front of him.

"Look for me" I say before placing my hands on his shoulders and jumping over him, running over to the next rooftop. As predicted, they all followed me. No footbot took the place of the ones that just fell. No one to guard my brothers, and of course Rahzar wouldn't take over that duty either.

He only followed me right into a trap.

I don't hesitate, I don't wait until they're all surrounding me because I only had seconds before it happened. I breathe in before I dig into my belt, taking out the one device I never used, because it was the only device I could only use once absolutely necessary. And the only time I actually listened and followed Don's warnings. I push the button, holding it for a several seconds before bringing it to my mouth.

"Jiko hakai" I whisper, dropping the device and shooting my grappling hook. And the moment the device hits the rooftop, and I'm up in the air, the bomb goes off. Fire licks at my feet, something silver shoots past my head, barely missing me before something else, something similar, shoots right into my leg.

The line snaps and I fall down. _Rahzar's claws_ , I vaguely realise as my shell hits the falling rooftop, before everything goes black.

TMNT

"MIKEY!" I didn't even realise I was screaming until my vocal cords started to protest. I blink heavily, tears appearing in my eyes. ' _look for me',_ he knew what he was going to do, and he still… he blew up the building. A single tear streamed down my face, agonising seconds passing but nothing moved, except a few bricks losing their battle to gravity, and falling down.

 _Like Mikey had fallen down_.

"Leo" Don hisses and I jerk my head to the right, staring at my younger brother with wide eyes. I shake my head furiously, clearing my thoughts.

"Can you get yourself free?" I ask, scanning the rooftop but apart from the broken foot bots, no weapons were close.

"There's a tanto in my belt, I can't reach it" Don says and I look to my left. Blood was still flowing out of Raph's wounds.

"Raph" I try to catch his attention and he looks up at me, a pained expression on his face. "Hold on, hold on for a little while little brother" I plead and Raph snorts before I turn my shell towards Donnie and crawling backwards, with the ropes still wrapped around my wrists and ankles. It's a slow walk but halfway Don meets me.

"Where?" I ask.

"Right side" he replies and I quickly, albeit at an awkward angle because of the restraints, take out his tanto. Without hesitation I slash through his ropes. He seems surprised for a second before he takes another tanto from his belt, slashing through the ropes around his feet and running straight to Raph.

"How is he?" I call out, agonisingly slow cutting through my own ropes.

"Bleeding, but not bad. Broken wrist" Don quickly assesses him. The moment my ropes were cut I jump up, running over to both of them.

"Don't ya worry about me, we gotta get to Mikey" Raph snaps, struggling before Don cuts through his ropes as well. Despite being the most injured one, Raph is the fastest to start running.

"Raph!" I scream, running after him, sensing Don just behind me. It only takes a few seconds to reach the next rooftop, carefully walking to avoid further collapse of the building, and I mentally praised Mikey for choosing this rooftop so quickly. And not a building where people lived.

Raph's enthusiasm, as far as you could call it that, seemed to disappear the moment he looked over the edge of the destruction, and I glance at his wrist, the other hand over his bleeding cuts.

"Don, with me" I call out, firing a grappling hook to a pole near the hole, testing its strength. "Call if police are coming" I command, looking at my immediate younger brother before jumping in. The building was five stories high, and it took me three to reach the bottom. Three ceilings, completely collapses, two floors totally destroyed and one heavily damaged.

I took out a flashlight, looking around "Do you see anything?" Don sounded worried, carefully walking around all the debris and littered foot bots.

"Not yet" I reply, biting my lip. There were numerous piles of debris, he could be under them.. he could already be.. I grit my teeth, no, that couldn't be.

"oh god.. LEO!" Don suddenly yelled out and I whipped my head around, sprinting over to the source of Don's voice. I immediately froze at the sight in front of me. Blood was pooling around the ground, leaking from beneath a thin but big boulder. The body that was beneath it...I suck in a breath.. and his chest rises ever so slightly.

 _Alive._

"Don?" I weakly take a step, my knees threatening to give away. I was met by silence so I walk over to the body, kneeling down to reach for Mikey's face. His head was lulled backwards, nothing to support his head with. A pole had pierced his shoulder straight through, trapping him in place.

But that wasn't the worst part yet. His leg had met the same fate, a pole going straight through his upper leg, however the same leg had gotten stuck, unable to slide any further downwards, but with the boulder pressed on his plastron.. his knee had given away, cracking and now bent at an unnatural angle.

"Mikey" I softly call out, taking a free hand in between mine. He coughs weakly, opening his eyes. He craned his neck, frowning and I immediately stuck out my other hand to support his head. He closed his head again, opening them after a few seconds.

"'r 'kay?" Mikey whispers softly, slurring his words.

"Donnie?" I call out in alarm and Don looks up to my, averting his attention from Mikey's trapped leg.

"We need to get him out of here now Leo but it's not going to be pretty." I blink a couple of times, nodding but not verbally reacting, only tightening my hold on Mikey's hand. Don shudders, taking off his mask and walking over to Mikey's head and folding up his mask.

"Bite down on this okay?" Don says softly, putting the fabric between Mikey's teeth. The youngest nods weakly and Don walks over to the boulder that was resting on Mikey's plastron. I take a shuddering breath, slowly lowering Mikey's head until it was hanging in the air again, but he seemed to out of it to question the lack of contact.

"Leo stand on the other side to lift okay? We're walking my way" Don instructs, taking over the leadership for now, but that had always been the case if someone got hurt like this… it just never happened like.. _this._

The gag hadn't helped one bit, the moment the boulder was lifted Mikey started spasming and screaming out in pain, the gag falling out of his mouth. Don winced, his hand clamped over Mikey's mouth the moment the boulder was on the ground and shushing comforting words, while his other hand was steadying his shoulder.

"What now?" I ask, trying to painfully ignore Mikey's cries.

"We get him off" Don mutters with pained eyes, looking at the pole that was at least 60 centimetres long, and Mikey's shoulder was over halfway through.

The cries turned to screams, until sirens overruled the sounds of anguish.

TMNT

We had narrowly managed to escape through a window that was miraculously still accessible. I sneak a glance at my right and wincing once again as I saw the condition my younger brother was in. Not my youngest, but Don. He hadn't bothered to wash off the blood after the improvised surgery he pulled off.

Instead he was curled up like a small child, dad's arms tightly around him as he tried to shush him to sleep. Don was already completely out of it, eyes half closed but not anywhere close to sleeping.

I frown, focusing on the gash on Raph's collarbone again, using the heart machine attached to Mikey to calm me down, to assure me that he is still breathing. I quickly stitch 3 of the four gashes but the last one proved to be more tricky as my hands started to shake as well, the same way Don's had shaken as he snapped Mikey's knee back in place.

Suddenly two strong arms wrapped around me, bringing me closer to my immediate younger brother.

"What are you-" I start but I couldn't finish my sentence as Raph interrupts me.

"Relax now Leo" I knew he meant well, and I basically melted in his embrace but the sentence made me snap. I glare, creating distance between us.

"Relax?! How do you expect me to relax when Mikey is like this?! You haven't seen him Raph… you didn't see-" and right now it's Raph who cuts me off, standing up from the side of the bed and wrapping his arms around me again.

"I know fearless, but he's gonna be okay" He whispers but I shake my head, tears leaking down my face.

"We don't know that Raph, Don's no doctor, he could still…" I stop myself, not willing to think about the possibility of him dying. He couldn't, not after we blew him off and he protected us, sacrificed himself. He couldn't because he was our youngest brother, family.

"I'm sorry" Don whispers softly and I snap my head to the right. _Don's no doctor._

"No.. oh no, that's not what I meant and you know it" I splutter, walking over to him.

"I'm sorry". Don says, bursting out in tears.

"Oh otouto, _it'll be alright, it's not your fault. He'll be alright"._ I try to shush him, and I take Don's hand, squeezing it tightly. Raph joins in as well as we all huddle up close on the spare bed that was in the lab, all silently listening to Don's apologising cries and Mikey's heart, weakly beating and assuring us that he was still alive.

TMNT

"Hey" I mumble with a sleepy voice, rubbing my eyes as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey yourself" Raph mumbles as a reply, turning around and studying me. "How ya doin'?" He asks and I shrug, bringing a hand to my face to gingerly touch the cut that had been stitched above my eyes. The worst wound I had right now, a few small cuts and some nasty bruises.

There was an awkward silence between the two of us as I got myself some food, Raph watching me as he ate his.

"You look awesome" but I could hear the sarcasm laced in the sentence.

"Geez, thanks Raph" I mumble and Raph snickers actually, looking at me before shrugging.

"I'm just saying, ya should get some sleep. I know ya stayed up all night watching over Mikey"

"I yelled at him Raph.. If I hadn't…" I say, disregarding my cereal bowl and sitting down at the end of the table, close to where Raph was sitting.

"Maybe he would've been caught as well."

"Anything better than what happened" I grimace, shuddering at the memory of his endless screams of pain as we lifted him off the poles, when we touched his broken knee. When we gagged him because he wouldn't, couldn't, stop screaming. Which would only make it unable for us to get away from the police.

Raph frowns at the statement but doesn't comment on it, I knew what he was thinking about thought. Dad had warned us enough about the possibilities, torture, experiments, death. Because despite how cruel it sounded, I'd rather have Mikey impaled than any of those options.

"I'm going back to check on Mikey" I eventually announce, standing up and picking up my bowl of cereal before leaving the kitchen.

"Don't pass out fearless" Raph calls out after me and I grimace, because it has happened numerous times already.

TMNT

"Leo?" Someone asks and I groan, blinking a couple of times. "Oh thank god you're okay" Don breathes out, giving me some space by leaning backwards. I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds, struggling to sit up. My back complains and I realise I was laying on the dojo floor.

"I passed out" I mumble, rubbing my eyes.

"You passed out" Don agrees with a grin. "Mikey woke up" Don continues and I immediately sit up straight.

"He did?!" I ask and Don nods. "How is he?" I scan Don for injuries but apart from his eye, that was now swelled shut, he seemed the least injured.

"All things considered… he's doing fine. He's pretty drugged up and still in some pain but.. he can still move his fingers and toes so as far as I know there's no nerve damage."

"And he's gonna be alright?" I was almost afraid to ask the question but Don smiled at me, albeit still slightly hesitant, and stands up, holding out his hand for me to take.

"He will be alright" And right now, with fatigue and numbness gnawing at my body, that was the only thing I needed to hear. We both walked over to the infirmary, seeing dad and Raph in the infirmary as well, the latter grinning knowingly but I just shook my head. I knew he was right, but I couldn't care less right now.

I could only concentrate on Mikey, whose eyes were now cracked open. Dad was sitting next to Mikey's bed, keeping a close watch on his youngest son. The blankets were brought up to half of his plastron, showing his fully bandaged shoulder, and his broken knee was placed on top of the blanket.

"You just had to pull a stunt like that huh little bro?" I ask quietly and Mikey's blue eyes focus on me, his head not yet moving. He cracks a soft smile, eyeing at me while I scan the rest of him. An IV sticking out of his elbow, a water bottle and some soft foods were standing on the table next to him.

But he seemed to be okay, in pain and weak, but okay.

"Had to save your sorry asses" He grins, eyeing at dad for a second but for once he doesn't say anything about his wording, probably because Mikey had realised it the moment after the sentence left his mouth.

"Mikey" I start, walking over to him and carefully putting my hand on top of his. He cranes his neck slightly, trying to turn his hand around to grab mine but even that seemed to be too much so I did it for him. "I just want to say I'm sorry for what I said"

Mikey exhales through his nose as some kind of weak laugh, cracking a weak smile. "I know you are"

I smirk. "You're not going to defend me?"

A bigger grin appears on Mikey's face. "No, you were totally wrong dude"

I laugh, and so do Don and Raph. I hear dad chuckling at the comment, my younger brother putting me in my place. I know that Raph especially loved when Mikey did it, because for some reason he seemed to be the best at doing that.

"But seriously Mikey, you may not pay attention sometimes but you're a really good fighter" I glance at his injuries again with a sense of guilt. "And you probably saved our lives back there, you're awesome little bro" I state genuinely, ignoring the guys looking at me.

"I know" Mikey replies but it's the twinkling in his eyes and the little squeeze that tells me that he didn't, that he needed to hear this right now. Because he had always been the one to need verbal confirmation. We stay still for a few moments before Mikey's eyes start to drop, before snapping open again.

"Don't fight it, you need to sleep" I tell him gently and behind me Raph snorts.

"Yer one to talk fearless" I roll my eyes and Mikey snickers, wincing as pain races up his body.

"Just get some sleep little brother" Don says, petting his good leg before standing up, taking Raph with him as they walked out of the infirmary. Dad stands up as well, looking at the both of us.

"I will get you some tea to help you fall asleep" I nod, staying at Mikey's side to wait for dad to get back.

..

He didn't need to, the moment Splinter walked back into the infirmary he saw his youngest peacefully asleep, snuggled close to his oldest, who had fallen asleep after climbing into the hospital bed as well. A smile spread on Splinter's face, putting the blanket around them a little better.

Mikey stirred slightly but didn't wake up.

 _You're awesome little bro._

"You all are my sons" Splinter whispers, kissing both his sons on their heads before leaving them alone.


	4. Chapter 4

So the lovely No Guns Only Roses and I decided to do another trade request thing, she really wanted to see an alternative version of the series' finale, where Mikey got mutated instead of Leo. And in return, she'd do a request for me. She has awesome stories, definitely consider checking out her stories!

But without further ado, I hope you like it! (And especially you No Guns Only Roses :D)

TMNT

It couldn't be… it couldn't be him.

"M-Mikey?" I stammer, staggering backwards. It couldn't be, he died, he died on that faithful day. Died trying to protect us, even though he was the youngest of us four, even if Leo was the leader, I was supposed to be the muscle and protect them at all costs. He couldn't be alive after so many years.

And yet, he was right there in front of me.

An inhuman roar escaped Mikey's throat, and still so familiar to Mikey's voice. The creature -my little brother- shot upwards, looming over me. Another scream escaped him, and he reached for his head.

His arm neared my head, my eyes widened. "MIK-" I started but before I could finish the sentence, his arm collided with mine. I was thrown backwards with incredible force, feeling something in my face give way. I groan, rubbing my head and looking at Mikey's direction. I cry out, eyes wide.

It happened so quickly, and I could do nothing but exclaim in fear before he jumped on top of me, smashing me through the floor of the vehicle we were on.

I harshly landed on the ground, gun scattering from me. I stared at it, green eyes side. I could just pick it up, whirling around as Mikey landed in front of me. He was _huge_. He had always been shorter than all of us, but right now he was huge. Probably twice his size, and he was hideous, mutated to a hideous mutant creature.

And yet, he was still my little brother.

 _My otouto._

"Mikey, it's me! Raphael" I cry, still pointing the gun at him but taking steps backwards each time he came closer to me. "Look at me bro!" I continue, voice growing desperate. He stops, eyes going wide. The brilliant baby blue eyes now tainted with the glow that was so familiar, mutagen, one of the few things my scattered brain could still remember.

Eyes tainted like mine were during the mutation, at least as Don had theorised it, but the whites of his eyes were tainted green, wrong.

Hesitation spread across his face but he furiously shook his head, roaring before charging again. I wasn't fast enough, Mikey seemed to be too strong, too fast. I felt mutated hands grab me, pressing me backwards. My shell hit.. something, but I could barely register it, everything slammed into my shell.

But it all happened too quick.

"Silence!" Mikey cried out, still pushing me through debris. And then I felt the ground beneath my feet disappear. I cry, the feeling of freefalling taking over every possible thought in my brain. I landed on the ground, feeling pain spread through my shell.

"Don't do this!" I cry, staring wide eyes at Mikey's descending figure. He landed on top of me, and I had no breath left to cry out in pain, but it was consuming my body.

His hand snaked around my throat, slowly holding me up. I choke, but my hands were too tired to even lift themselves up to try break free. Instead I shakily lifted my gun, pointing it at him. Even if I had no intention of shooting him. I could never hurt my youngest brother, I could never hurt any of them.

 _Even if it killed me._

"Mikey" I rasp, feeling my lungs already protest. "Mikey" I try again, muscles in my face softening, but he kept glaring at me. Neon green eyes blazing with anger, anger and so much pain behind them. The gun fell from my hand, clattering onto the floor. I didn't even register it fully.

I could only stare at my once happy, and careless brother.

A look of surprise passed his face, but his hand only tightened. I cry out, squirming with my last bit of energy. Dark spots were already appearing on my vision, and I knew I didn't have long before I lost consciousness.. and my life. But I didn't care anymore, I realised I just didn't care anymore.

I didn't want to die, I didn't want to leave Don and Leo alone, but I didn't care about living either. Not like I used to.

I didn't care for this horrible world.. I didn't care anymore because I didn't deserve it. I abandoned Mikey, no matter that he pushed me, I should've tried harder, protected him better. It was my fault, _our fault_ , that he was this way. And I didn't care if he killed me, that only meant he survived.

His life.. valued far more than mine.

I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head. But I welcomed the sensation, a sensation far too familiar with me. My ears were ringing, and the commotion around me died down to a low ruse. And then an almost deafening roar, but definitely coming from my not so little brother, who was still holding me.

And then I was falling again.

I hit the ground before I could even register what was happening. _Mikey had thrown me_. I was rolling, dust steering up, pain not even registering. It felt like ages, but it must've been only seconds before I came to a stop. _Another roar_ before a crash resonated through the valley.

My eyes widened, _he saved me again_. I slowly get up, watching with disbelief as the stone wall crumbled down. _He had saved me again, pushed me to safety, risked his own life._ I could feel tears burn in my eyes, and I'd be damned to not blame it on the sand. _He put his life above mine._

 _My pathetic life._

"Oh my god" I heard Leo cry out.

"I can't believe it" _Don._ "Michelangelo!" He continued, my eyes widened, a first step of hesitance before I was sprinting towards the spot where my brothers where standing.

"M-Michelangelo?" My youngest brother asked hesitantly. "I don't… I don't know who you're talking about, I'm Maximus Kong!" He roared again, trying to pull himself free but the only thing he got was a forced cry of pain.

"Mikey" I catch his attention, holding my shoulder painfully. "S'gonna be alright bro" I mumble, but he must've heard it just fine, as he looked at me with wonder, wonder that was somehow so clear in my memory.

"R-Raphie?" He asks slowly, and I gasp, immediately running over to him. Without hesitation I start to pull the rubble from his body, tearing it away and freeing him. He groaned, slowly getting up and rubbing his head before he looked at his hand, like a just newly mutated person.

"Do you… Do you remember who we are?" Don asks slowly, and Mikey looks at him with wide eyes.

"D…?" Mikey asks, and I can't help the smile that is tugging at my lips.

"Mikey!" I cry out, rushing over to him, and wrapping my arms around him tightly. I could feel Don's metallic arms as well, just as Leo's skinny and malnourished ones.

"Oh man, we thought we lost you forever, we looked everywhere for you!" Don says, I look down in guilt, taking a hesitant step forwards and only then daring to look in Mikey's eyes.

"What happened to you little bro? The last time we saw you.. that mutagen bomb went off" I ask. A troubled look spreads across Mikey's face, and he closes his eyes for a moment.

"I-It's coming back to me.. slowly" He mutters, opening his eyes slightly. The shade of green was disappearing.. it was fading away. "I-.. I remember. I was there" He mumbles, confusion in his eyes as he slowly remembered more and more.

TMNT

It was chaos, chaos all around. The world was going to change, and nobody understood that but us. But still, the bomb nearing New York caused immense panic, even if the humans didn't understand what they were running from. But really, did it matter? The alarms were going off everywhere.

And that was enough to convince them to run.

But Kraang had thought of that, and they had blocked every exit, every possible way for anyone to get out of the city.

"Lemme go stupid robots" Raph growled, twisting in the Kraang's grip, but they had a solid hold on my second oldest brother.

"The ones known as the turtles will undergo what is known as mutagen bomb" I growl, pushing back against the Kraang as well. I forgot how truly annoying their speech was.

"It's not that hard to talk normal" I grumble, cringing when the Kraang holding me tightened his hold on my wrists. I could feel the bones protest, _if_ we would manage to get out there it would leave an enormous bruise for sure.

"Leo?" Raph cries out suddenly, and I whirl my head around.

"Don?" I ask, as the Kraang pushes me and Raph forwards onto the Brooklyn brigde. I frown slightly, of course the Kraang would take us here. The bomb was right on top of us, still hovering in the air and ready to be released. There would be no way for us to dodge it, this was truly the end.

Both Raph and I were pushed to the ground, arms forced on our backs. I look up with guilty eyes, staring at Leo and Don. Two of my older brothers were bound to the bridge. Wrists shackled together, and connected to the middle of the structure. High up in the air, on the structure where the cables connected to.

The bridge had already been damaged during their rampage, so there was barely enough room for the four of us.

Their feet were shackled as well, also connected to the middle. They still had room to move, but each had a Kraang holding them down. They weren't taking any chances right now, they had learned from their mistake almost 10 years ago.

The spare Kraang walked over to Raph, shackling his wrists together after shackling his ankles. He growls, snarling in protest but over the years his temper had died down some, still he was pissed.

"The ones known as the turtles are almost ready, Kraang can release what is known as mutagen bomb" Kraang spoke up, and the spare ones nodded, flying away. _That ability was new_ , but not really surprising at the same time. They were technologically more advanced than humans were after all.

 _But still so stupid_.

Only 5 Kraang remained, 4 holding us down, and one walking over to me to shackle my ankles together. But the moment the Kraang had retreated, the grip on each of us loosened. I growl, locking eyes with my bros before lashing out the moment the Kraang releases my wrist. I whirl around, grabbing the head of the Kraang and twisting it.

The head gave in way too easily, breaking off. I growl, throwing it at the Kraang who had just been holding me, striking him squire in the chest where the Kraang was hiding. I didn't pay attention to my bros, trusting them to be able to take care of the others.

My kraang screeched in pain, and I lash out, striking its chest again and ripping right through metal. I grab the pink brain, ripping it right out and throwing it off the bridge, knowing it wouldn't hurt them at all, but would halt them long enough hopefully.

"Guys?" I ask, heaving slightly and reaching down for the body of the Kraang, fishing out the keys.

"We're okay" Leo answers, and I look at them, seeing the three Kraang on the ground as expected.

"We have to hurry up, the Kraang is powering up the bomb" Don intercepts, a clear rush in his voice. I whirl my head around as well, seeing the bomb powering up, the Kraang still in delusion of us being shackled and in the middle of the blast. An ultimate revenge on us for halting their plans so much in the past.

"D, help me" I order, hobbling over to him and showing him the key. Don understood immediately, turning around and extending his arms as much as he could so I could get access to the lock. I activated the key, all too familiar with their mechanics after all the months I spent in Dimension X.

I frown, putting it in the lock, and wiggling slightly. It took me a few seconds to get it right, but soon enough the chains released from Don's wrists. Without any communication he whirls around, and I crouch down to get his ankles.

"Guys.." Leo stammers, but I don't pay attention to him. "The bomb is coming"

I growl, twisting the key and releasing Don from his chains. I immediate jump over to Leo's side, not even considering the option of giving it to Don. He may be the genius of us four, but when it came down to the Kraang, that was my specialty.

"Mikey" Leo said as I started to work on the bonds on his ankles. "Take off your shackles first" He says, but his tone was ordering. He wanted me to save myself. I frowns, shaking my head.

"Not gonna happen big bro" I deny, smiling slightly as the lock opened. Leo turned around as well, showing his wrists.

"Guys we have to hurry!" Don cries out, and for a second I allow myself to look up. The bomb was continuously coming closer, and the cries from the humans below increased with each passing second. I growl, turning back to Leo's wrists.

"Get out of here guys" I cry, feeling angry tears burn in my eyes.

"What?! NO!" Leo cries out, but I glare at him.

"We don't have long, you have to get away" I insist but Leo shakes his head.

"I'm not leaving you" Leo tries again, but I frown.

"I never said I'd give you a choice" I mutter, and as soon as the shackles fall from his wrist I push him, hard. He cries out, stumbling backwards until the bridge disappears from under him. He cries out, falling downwards. I didn't pay attention to the sound of him hitting the water, immediately turning to Raph.

Neither Raph nor Don said anything, but Raph soundlessly followed the others, presenting his wrists first. I glance upwards again, seeing the bomb near with every second, I didn't have long. The shackles fell, and I turned to his akles immediately.

"Mikey you have to hurry" Don tries, and the moment Raph's shackles fell from his ankles, and he was free to move, I got up. Before he had a chance to react, I grab his wrist, pulling him along and towards Don.

"Mike-" Raph starts but I don't stop, throwing him off the bridge, before shoving Don off as well. Both cry out as they fall, betrayal in their eyes.

"I love you guys" I mutter, before a deafening explosion was heard. I cry out as the liquid hit me, and I crumble.

…

TMNT

"I remember pushing you all to safety… but.. but I was caught in the middle of the blast. It mutated me into.. this horrible thing. The rage.." His eyes go wide, staring at the three of us in horror before he falls down with a loud thud. I could feel Mira grab my hand, but I didn't pay attention to her.

"Mikey?" I ask softly but he moans in pain, holding his head and shaking it furiously.

"I hurt you.. I hurt you… I hurt you" He mutters, over and over again. I could see tears start to leak from his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. "I hurt so many… I did so many horrible things"

"That was the mutagen little bro" Leo tries, but he too seemed hesitant to approach Mikey. He was already taller and broader than I was, and Leo was so tiny even compared to me. Mikey would be able to kill Leo with one punch probably.

Mikey slowly lifts his head, tears tracking his cheeks. "I hurt you" He whispers, locking eyes with me. Then, he screams. An agonising scream escapes his throat, and he clutches his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Another scream. "Memories… so many…" He mutters, another scream escaping his lips.

I shake Mira's hand from mine, throwing caution in the wind and rushing over to him.

"I was so alone" He continues, looking at me with hesitant eyes. "I was alone for so long, and I was scared… I remember.. the blood" He continues, and I slowly reach for his arm.

"It's okay little bro" I mutter, taking his hand and rubbing the much bigger appendage. "It's in the past, we've all done things to survive" I continue, and Mikey looks at me in wonder almost.

"I killed" He whispers, eyes wide and terrfied. "I … I-" He stops, whimpering in pain.

"We got the map to the green place otouto" Leo intercepts, walking over as well and taking Mikey's other hand. "Our next stop is paradise" He continues, an invitation all too clear in his voice. I smile slightly, looking at Mikey's face in anticipation. Then slowly, a smile spreads across his face.

"Paradise?" He asks, eyes bright blue again. "Sounds good to me bros" He says, carefully standing up. He grunts slightly, and I immediately stand up as well, supporting him as much as I could. It was difficult to get him onto Chompy, he tried to move as much as possible, but the collision had injured him.

He lays down on top of Chompy, tired eyes watching the sky above him.

Our family was finally back together.

TMNT

So I hope you guys liked it!

On a side note: as for the other requests, it's been way too long and for that I am sorry. For some reason I pushed them back and back, and before I know it it was a year later. So I'm going to pick up those requests again, but since it's been almost a year, I'm like discarding the requests I still have. No worry, if you still want your request done, just admit them again, and I will look at them again. It's more to filter out the requests of people who are either not reading anymore or don't want that particular idea anymore. And if you have a new request, leave them in a review! As always, no guest reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

The squeaking of wheels, the slow and gentle shaking as we continued to.. roll. I groan slightly, frowning and blinking my eyes open. Immediately bright light filled my vision, causing me to groan again and shut my eyes tight. Someone snickered in the distance, and yet, it sounded so close by.

"He's awake" A man's voice entered my ears, and I squint slightly, trying to blink my eyes open yet again.

"Just in time" Another voice spoke, and I look up, craning my neck to look at the source of the voices. Immediately I could feel an ice cold feeling wash over me. One of the men was currently pushing the hospital.. bed I was laying on. I whimper, trying to sit up but I was immediately met by resistance on my wrists and ankles.

"What the.." I mutter, pulling my wrists again, before looking up in panic. "Where am I? Wha-" I stop myself, wincing as the bed was pushed against something. _Doors_. I wince, shrinking in on myself as screams filled my ears. Horrible screams, filled with pain and so much anguish, filling the entire room.

"Get comfortable" The man pushing spoke without much emotion, walking a bit more before wheeling me into place.

"Take.. whatever he's wearing" The other man spoke, walking away immediately.

"What?!" I cry out, feeling hands rip away the bandages on my hands, my elbow pads, my belt, my mask… everything gone, and the man didn't show any emotion. He only glanced at me for a second before he took everything away. _My orange mask, my elbow and knee pads, bandages, everything._

Another scream filled the room, and I cringe again, trying to look but it was no use. Everything around me was shielded, hospital curtains left and right, in front of me, only behind me was wall. But even so, there was a significant distance between either structure, room to move around.

 _More screams_.

I growl, jerking on my bonds again but the only thing it accomplished was a flash of pain running through my wrists.

"Don't bother" A voice started, walking into the little space that surrounded my bed. His face was emotionless, followed by another man They didn't talk any further, simply walking over to me before buckling a strap around my throat, putting a gag in my mouth. I cry out around the gag, trashing slightly.

The other man puts a rough hand on my head, pushing me flat on the table and getting out a light, before shining it in my eyes.

"Light blue, freckles" The man spoke, the other one writing something down, probably what the other just said.

I growl, screaming through the gag and trying to twist my head away, but unable to do so. The men didn't respond, clicking off the flashlight, walking to a cupboard on the right. I growl again, snarling at them.

"We got a feisty one boss" The one writing everything down snickered, glancing at me for a second.

"Don't act so surprised, it's not the first one we broke" The boss muttered without any real emotion. "But I suppose, an explanation is in order" He continues, walking over to me again and rubbing my ar, quickly inserting a needle. I groan slightly, glaring up at the man.

"You, my friend, are in my lab. You were chosen, because your alteration made you very special" I frown slightly, twisting my bonds yet again but getting the same results as the previous times. _Alteration? Was he talking about my mutagen? Then why didn't he take my brothers when he had the chance?_

 _But did I truly know they were safe?_

My eyes go wide at the thought, I had no idea if they were safe or not. Just because I hadn't seen them yet, didn't mean they weren't here. The last thing I remember was someone hitting me in the hit while we were fighting some weird guys. _These guys apparently_.

Another painful scream resonated through the room, and the man sighs deeply before a hurried voice echoed through the room.

"Davon?"

"I'll be right there" The man, Davon apparently, responded to the unknown voice, sighing and turning to the other man. "Give him his first dose" _Wait, first dose?_ I growl again, struggling in my restraints again. Why I still tried, I didn't know, but the needle the man was drawing seemed to be a logical motivator.

"Don't worry about the confusion" The man started, tapping the fluid to get the air bubbles out before turning to me. "Tomorrow everything will be explained to you, but first, you have to suffer" I gulp, eyes following his hand, and the needle he was carrying.

I scream through the gag again, squirming away from the needle but it was useless. The hand grabbed my arm, pinning it down before slowly inserting the needle. I glare at him, not daring to give him the satisfaction of seeing me suffer. He doesn't even look, taping the needle in place before flicking a switch.

The dark liquid spread through the tubes, before it entered my arm. I cringe, before tensing up completely. I cry out behind the gag, a burning feeling spreading, fire reaching everywhere the liquid touched, going through my entire body. I scream again, soon followed by another scream from somewhere in the room.

 _And they never stopped_.

And neither did I.

TMNT

A shuddering breath ran through my form, too exhausted to draw in a proper breath. My body was exhausted, throat raw from the screaming and muscles aching from the gag. Footsteps were nearing, the screams of pain had finally died out a bit, instead replaced with grunts of pain.

"You're awake, good" The same man as yesterday started, walking through the curtain and approaching me. He glanced at the needle, carefully taking it out. I hiss behind the gag, a tiny droplet of blue liquid seeping out of the tiny wound. "He's ready Boss"

As if on cue, the boss, Davon, walked into the space, looking at me before smiling. But not a warm smile Leo would give me when I was sick or injured, or if he was just looking after me. Not like I would believe Davon if he gave me a warming smile. No, instead it was a cruel, self-entitled smile.

"You must be thoroughly confused" He spoke in a low voice, walking over to me and gesturing to the gag. Immediately the goon reached for the gag, taking it off. I gasp, eyes darting around in panic almost as if I had been blinded, or just given the opportunity to see. Immediately my mouth closes, trying to wet my mouth properly.

"Where..?" I gasp, voice raspy and raw, throat itching almost.

"Lab" Davon states again, looking down at me and frowning slightly. "Have you figured out why you are here?"

I swallow, shaking my head with the little room I had. Davon sighs, not necessarily annoyed.

" _You_ are going to be my little goldmine, that's why you are here" I frown slightly at the sentence. "I am assuming he doesn't know, anything from the results?" He asks, ignoring me instead, but the goon shook his head.

"Everyone in here is like you, my friend" Davon continues.

"A mutant?" I rasp, licking my lips again but nothing seems good enough. Davon gave me an amused smile, but shook his head.

"That is one thing you have in common, however, the reason why you are all here is because your mind has been rewired by the mutagen"

"What do you want?" I ask, glaring at Davon instead. _Was he telling the truth? And in what ways exactly. Don had run tests on all of us before, nothing strange had showed up.._.

"To use you, like I used the others" _Others? That must be everyone I'm hearing._ "But you, you are special, because you do not merely have powers, you have skills as a trained ninja that can be very valuable"

"I won't work with you if that's what you want" I glare, keeping my gaze firmly on his. Davon snickers.

"That is what they all say, luckily for us, there is technology that can make you too afraid to go against my wishes"

"Then why bother torturing me?" I retort, glancing at the machine that released the liquid. Davon follows my gaze, eventually landing on the liquid as well and snickering in an amused way.

"For one simple reason, you have yet to unlock your powers. And I am here to help you do that"

"How generous of you" I spat, voice dripping with sarcasm but Davon doesn't seem to care about that, gesturing to the goon. The latter seemed to understand, walking over to the bed and taking off the locks off the wheels, starting to drag me through the curtains.

"We will get that attitude out of you within days, don't worry" I glare at his comment. _Please rescue me before he can make that happen guys, please come and save me_. The goon took a left turn when we passed the curtain, wheeling through the corridor. It was like an ER centre, on every side there were curtains, some closed and some open. There was either an empty bed or one filled with.. a mutant.

No one looked at me, but all were suffering. All of them looked horrible, defenceless on the table, restraints around their limbs, similar to mine. We continued to wheel away, until we hit more doors. _The dual swing doors_. We turned left, until going through another door, and then we stopped.

"Get him in" Davon ordered, and before I knew, I felt two pair of hands unstrapping the restraints. And now I understood why they had injected that serum. _Weaken me_. I growl, ripping my arm back and _trying_ to get off the bed gracefully, sprint away, but the only thing i accomplished was falling off the table.

"Oompf" I land harshly on my side, stunned for a few seconds.

"That would be the serum working its magic" Davon snickers, and I glare at him as two men host me up by my arms. My legs were sprawled on the ground, useless beneath me. "Don't worry, it will last but 24 hours, besides, it's the least of your problems right now"

He signs for the goons to drag me back. I hiss, snarl at him, but struggling was, as always, useless. I was thrown back, before the door closed before my very eyes.

"I hope you don't mind if we turn up the heat" Davon speaks through an intercom. The only warning I get before the room suddenly warms up. My head shoots up, eyes wide at the heat rapidly warming up the room.

 _No_.

TMNT

Even taking a breath hurt, everything hurt really. My mouth was dry, almost like sandpaper. It was difficult to remember where I was at times, I knew it was the heat, the dehydration. D had told me about the dangers of not staying hydrated. Especially after Raph got trapped in a warm room as well.

But that had only been 20 minutes or so, not hours.

My head spun, no matter how much I moved, no matter how much I tried to keep still. Nothing worked, everything spun around me, and my head was pounding relentlessly.

I groan, digging my forehead into the, _warm_ , floor as another spasm racks through my calf muscle. _Heat cramps_. Don had also warned us about those. I grit my teeth, forcing the cry of pain back, I couldn't show them weakness, I wouldn't show them weakness. I wouldn't break, not now, not ever.

My body was lingered with a layer of sweat, and I had no energy to wipe it away.

My stomach lurched again, and I had just enough energy to turn my head to the side before vomit spewed from my mouth. I just lay there, no energy to move away from the stench. I was just.. done. The heat was suffocating almost, I couldn't move, I had no energy, and the pain was just too much.

I draw in another difficult breath, nose not even able to scrunch up at the smell. I just lay there.

The door opened, but I made no move as Davon approached me. I didn't see him, but I just knew it was him.

"That is enough" One of the goons spoke and Davon hummed in acknowledgement. "Any more and he'll die"

"Get him to chamber 3" Davon ordered, and I could feel terror passing through my body. No more.. please no more. Hands grabbed my dry arms, heaving me up. My stomach lurched again, bile rising up my throat but stopping. I swallowed painfully, struggling to stand us as they started dragging me along.

"You held up surprisingly long" Davon mutters as the goons drag me away to another room. I would've snorted if I had the energy, but I could barely keep my eyes open at the moment. Another door was opened, before one of the goons released me, opening something.

"Get him in" Davon orders, turning to me. "Enjoy your swim, and for the love of God, don't just hibernate" I would've frowned at the sentence, but I had no energy, and before I could do so, I was thrown into whatever this was.

My breath hitches, cold washing all over me, wrapping around me, encasing me, water seemingly everywhere. And the cold.. the cold was worse than being stabbed. I couldn't cry out, too shocked as pain spread through my entire body. Ice cold, it was ice cold.

Then, I cry out, twisting in panic causing my head to go under. I splutter, struggling to get my head up, but I didn't know what was up. I felt a strong hand wrap around my skull, pulling me upwards.

 _Anger_

 _Annoyance_

I frown at the emotions rushing through me, because _those…._ those weren't mine. I choke on a sob as I was released again, straight into the freezing water again.

"Stay afloat" Davon snickers, letting the goon close the lid, and taking away all the light.

TMNT

Cold.

That was all I felt.

Dark.

That was the only thing I saw.

Darkness.

My body was barely shivering anymore, barely even responding to the cold anymore. Didn't mean I couldn't still feel it, but my body just didn't want to shiver anymore, it couldn't muster up the energy to try to keep itself warm.

 _People_.

I wince slightly, water responding slightly to the movement. Seconds later, the lid slowly opened, light filling up the cooler. I don't react, I don't move.

"Still nothing?" Davon asks me, leaning a bit over into the cooler. "Do you hear me?"

I frown, muscles pulling weakly in my face. And Davon smiles at that, signing to the goons. They immediately got to work, grabbing my arms and pulling me up. I didn't even feel their hands on my arms, and they quickly dragged me out, allowing me to drop to the floor.

"It's already working" Davon says, before turning to me. I splutter, weakly glancing at him. "Did you realise I didn't speak out loud when I asked if you heard me?" He snickers, but I couldn't seem to react to his tauntings. I just lay there.

 _He didn't say anything out loud_.

 _Wonder._

I take a shuddering breath, the only reaction my body would allow. _I could feel his emotions, hear his thoughts_.

 _What is going on?_

TMNT

 _Arrhythmias_.

That was the first thought ringing through my head when the water hit my body. I cry out, trying to twist away from the water. The burning, steaming water that was blasted towards me.

 _Arrhythmias_.

I had no idea what it was, but it wasn't a thought either. It couldn't be explained as a thought, it was something different, a feeling… intuition. Another scream escapes my throat, slipping to the ground, slumping against the wall. The water stopped for a moment, but the raging pain in my body didn't stop.

And neither did the pounding headache.

Davon stared at me, and I stared right back at him. He frowned, raising his chin slightly.

"You cannot hear me" He states, and I felt no need to move, not like I had the energy. "You were developing them so fast" Davon sighs, shaking his head and turning on the water again. I cry out, feeling the burning water hit me again, blasting me against the wall. I whimper, turning my head away.

 _Not now_.

I ignored the feeling. Spluttering, chest heaving at the loss of oxygen. My heart was beating irregularly, I could just _feel_ it. It hurt, everything hurt. The water stopped. I gasp, slumping to the ground. I had begged for water hours ago, I had begged for warmth just an hour ago, but this wasn't what I wanted.

 _Annoyance_.

"Are you sure you're not faking it?" Davon asks. _Suspicion_. I freeze, heart fluttering with fear, but my body was too drained to show the fear, too drained to tense up. I didn't even move my head, staring ahead at the wall. I didn't even have the energy to lift my head. Because I knew it wouldn't do anything.

Davon snorts, turning around. "This calls for desperate measures" I would've snorted if I hadn't been in this situation, if I hadn't been so tired, so filled with pounding pain. This wasn't drastic already? But I knew that he could go worse. This wasn't pain, not the worst pain Davon could inflict.

He was putting my body and mind through _stress_.

I groan, wanting to just curl up, but I couldn't move, couldn't defend myself as Davon's footsteps neared again.

"Let's try something else eh?" Davon snickers. _Impatience_. I don't say anything, weakly moving my eyes towards Davon's figure. My heart jolts again, gazing at the object Davon was holding. He snickers at my gaze, extending the stick and putting it on. Immediately electricity crackles through the end.

Then he presses it against my side.

I scream, a loud curling scream as pain explodes behind my eyes. I scream, twisting, muscles contracting. Then it stops. I gasp, landing flat on my plastron and gasping for air. A choked sob escapes my throat. The pounding in my head only seemed to increase, and I sob again, pressing my forehead against the ground.

 _Not yet_.

There was an inaudible sound on my head, words.. words I couldn't comprehend.

 _Disappoint_. Davon sighed out loud, and the stick crackled again.

Pain. I cry out, muscles contracting again, heart fluttering and chest pounding with pain. Everything hurt. I scream again, throat already raw.

 _Black._

 _Grey._

 _Scared. The mutants were scared. Couldn't hear me._

 _Missions, collars, spying._ I gasp, electricity continuing.

 _Impatient, hopeful… evil. Stay away, stay away from him._

 _Not yet._.

Everything was so loud, everything was too loud. I cry out, back arching as my eyes flew open. But I didn't see the ceiling. I saw blue electricity crackling around me, colours twirling around each other. _Black, grey, and a dull orange_. I gasp again, dropping my head to the side. _More colours._

 _Dull colours, colours from the other mutants._

 _Not yet_.

 _Red, blue, purple… faint but here._

' _FINALLY'_. It stopped, and Davon immediately walked over to me. 'You can hear me' He insisted and I gasp again, nodding in fear. He smiled, straightening up. _What was happening? Not yet._

He laughs, running a hand through his blond hair and crouching down.

 _His wrist_. _Not yet._

I glance at the wrist, and only do I notice the bandage that was wrapped around it. I frown, ignoring Davon's smile. The wrist… not yet. The voices, the thoughts in my head.

… Escape.

Davon extends his hand. _Balance, wrist, now!_ The voice screamed. a rush of adrenaline coursed through me, and before I knew it, I reached up to grab his wrist. A cry of pain leaves Davon's mouth, and I flip him over, bending his wrist until I heard it break. Another cry of pain, but I push the body off.

I stood, ignoring the shaky legs, and I just ran. _Left_. I turned left. _Right_. I turned right, running straight for the doors, and opening them. I stop almost immediately, wide eyes. It was the room with all the other mutants. My head started pounding even more, colours intensifying. _Pink, yellow, blue, white._

All dull, all weakened like my orange.

 _Left_. I turn my head to the left side, a curtain open.

"Stop!" I heard Davon yell behind me and I whirl around, eyes wide. Davon was breathing heavily. _Pain, anger_. My head flashed with pain, and I cringe. _Right_. It urged again, pointing me to the same wall since I had turned around. Davon glared, reaching for the axe on the wall, and readying it.

I yell, darting to the right like the voice urged me to. But I had no idea why, I was trapped, trapped by wall and two curtains on either side. I yell again, barely able to duck as the axe flew past me, lodging into the wall. I look at it, whirling around to see Davon approaching, taking out a knife.

More goons approached. 3 in total.

"Get him" Davon hisses. I stand up, legs still shaky and reaching for the axe. _The wall_. I don't think, don't question it. Without hesitation, I slam the axe into the wall, again, and again. _Clang_. I hear something, but before I could swing again, a goon charged at me. Despite the pounding headache, I roll away, swinging the axe at him.

I miss, vision blurring. And before I knew it, I was struck down by something against my head. I groan, head hitting the ground hard. I could feel blood trickling down the side of my head, before hands grasped my arms, hauling me up again.

"Don't think you're the first one to try to escape" Davon huffs, walking over to me. I glare up, and Davon chuckles again.

 _Duck_. The voice urged, and I frown, just as Davon frowns as well, looking up. His gaze lands on a spot behind me. _Duck_.

And then everything exploded.

Everything around me exploded, and I was thrown forwards. Heat surrounded me, and I yell, feeling my skin protesting. I groan, pushing myself off the ground. Everything was pounding around me, and I gasp in pain, but I knew the adrenaline coursing through my body was numbing it.

The curtains were lit on fire, burning almost excitedly. But the blast wasn't big, wasn't big enough to catch the whole room on fire. Otherwise I wouldn't've been breathing. I grimace, climbing to my feet, whirling around.

 _Flee_ was the first thought, flee and come back later. I stagger, not turning back and dashing away.

"STOP HIM!" I heard Davon rage, but the goons were out cold. I ran past them, stumbling over my own legs like Don had been doing so many times after his growth spurt. I didn't feel anything, except fear cursing through my body.

 _Faster_. I could feel him approaching. Davon. I turn right, stumbling against the wall in the haste, but continuing without stopping. _Red approaching, purple running faster, blue anxious._ I scrambled, hands touching the walls to keep myself standing. Pain was filling up my body, the adrenaline not strong enough.

 _I wasn't strong enough to make it_.

I felt something hit my legs, and I felt them give out. I fell, wind rushing past me before I connected with the ground. Blood splattered out in front of me.

"Mikey?!" Leo's distressed voice suddenly entered the room, and I could just barely lift up my head to see Leo rushing towards me, sliding onto his knees.

"L-Leo?" I stammer, and he nods, hands ghosting over me.

"RAPH DON!" Leo snaps, head snapping upwards.

"What?!" Davon yells, but could only barely finish his sentence before he lets out a cry of pain. The sound of metal slashing through flash, before a dull thud.

"Restrain him" Don orders, and I could _feel_ purple approaching me, hands on my body and gently turning me around until I was laying on my shell. I stare up at Don, a small smile the only thing my body would allow right now.

"Slash, we got 'im" Raph spoke, before he too approached, but he kept holding his sais, glancing around warily.

"Th…ther'more" I take a shuddering breath, wincing and squeezing my eyes shut.

"The explosion?" Don asks softly, and I nod slowly.

"Michelangelo?" I crane my neck at the call of my name. _Greyish green approaching_.

"Mikey says there are more people LH" Raph informs.

"Go check it out, there could be more goons" Leo orders, and for once, Raph nods. He glances at me for a second, an obvious worried look on his face before he nods. He turns around, walking towards the room I just came from, LH, Slash and Rockwell following.

"Dad?" I whisper in a raspy voice, taking a shuddering breath.

"On his way little bro, just relax" Leo whispers, stroking the side of my head. I close my eyes, everything starting to spin around me. But it was a gently spin, one that welcomed sleep.

"He's in a bad state, but I don't think he's in any danger" Donnie spoke softly, but the voice was far away. "Burns, a cut on his head" A soft touches lingered on my throat. "His heartbeat is really irregular"

I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell him what the voices told me. _Arrhythmias_. But I didn't want to, I had no energy left to do so. I just wanted to go to sleep.

"Michelangelo, my son?" A soft voice added itself to the ones already there. I didn't react, didn't open my eyes, I lapped up his presence like a sponge soaking up water. Brown swirled around orange, and before I knew it, the colours disappeared, and the last thing I remember was dad's gentle touch.

TMNT

Head pounding, pulsating and hammering the inside of my brain.

"You have to wake up otouto, I miss you" I would've chuckled any other time. Raph always put on a tough act in front of all of us, but all of us knew that he cared so much about us. He would do anything to protect us, loved us so so much. We all did, we all loved each other, we'd all die for one another.

But Raph rarely showed it… we knew though.

 _I miss you too Raphie_.

There was a snort. "That's why you have to wake up Mikey" Raph continued his monologue, as if he was answering me. I must've been very bad for him to be so worried, to talk so openly about his feelings.

 _How long had it been_?

"2 days" Raph responds, and I stiffen.

 _Raph?_ I wait for a second. _You can hear me? How can you hear me?_

 _Same way you're hearing me little bro_. He stops for a moment. _I guess all the crap Don got from the other mutants was true_. He chuckles, but I frown instead. I could hear his thoughts? And he could hear mine?

 _You aren't speaking out loud?_

I could _feel_ Raph shake his head, snickering. _Neither are you little bro… but I would prefer talking to ya face ta face_.

I groan, squeezing my eyes shut.

"That's it little bro" Raph's voice sounded tired as well, and I carefully blink my eyes open, wincing at the light. Raph chuckles, eyes bright, but tired as he stares at me. "Welcome to the land of living" I chuckle as well, but my head turns to the entrance to the lab, seeing Leo and Don walk in.

"You're awake" Don exclaims, rushing over to me. I grin, closing my eyes for a second in fatigue. Purple wrapped around my orange and Raph's red, quickly followed by blue.

"How are you feeling little brother?" Leo asks softly, and I blink my eyes open.

"My head.." I mutter, resisting the urge to close my eyes again. I could hear Don chuckle softly, reaching for the medicine cabinet before handing me something.

"Swallow this" He urges me. I shakily take the pill, popping it into my mouth and taking a sip from the glass Raph offered me. I groan slightly, falling down in exhaustion.

"No thoughts?" Raph frowns suddenly, and I look at him, just as confused.

"I don't hear anything" I wince slightly, my throat raw and painful to use right now. Don frowns slightly as well.

"If the other mutants are correct, then it's normal" He tries to explain. "They mentioned not being able to control their powers at the beginning, but they got better at it with training"

"If that involves the ways Davon unlocked mine I'll pass" I grimace, and I can see Raph wince as well.

"Of course not" Leo counters, sitting down next to the bed. "We will ask Rockwell to see what he knows, and the other mutants we rescued-"

"Where are they now?" I interrupt Leo. The screams of pain were still too evident in my head, but the screams in my head had died down, I couldn't hear them anymore, couldn't see their pained colours anymore.

"They're safe with the mutanimals right now, they're looking after them while they recover, and try to get them home" Leo explains. "Or try to get them _a_ home"

I nod numbly. "They were hurting them, I could hear them" Leo's face falls, and he reaches out carefully.

"That must've been scary, I can't imagine what they put you through" He whispers, and I lean into his touch.

"He wanted to use me, spy on people." I frown, looking up at Leo. "What happened to Davon?" I rasp, and Raph chuckles softly, handing me the glass of water again. This time, he helps me up a bit, bringing the glass to my mouth and allowing me to take a few sips of the cool water.

"We called the police to arrest them, Davon is locked up with the rest of the people working there" Don explains. "Apparently they've been after him for some time" I nod again, not really knowing how to react to the information. Of course I was glad he was off the streets, and I was glad that the other mutants were freed as well.

I just… the room.. the ice bath.. the spray.. they were all still too clear in my head.

 _Concern_.

I glance at Raph, and his eyes confirmed the voice's thoughts.. Raph was concerned. I wince slightly as the pounding in my head increased again, but just slightly.

"How about we watch a movie tonight, if you're feeling up to it?" Don suggest, and I smile at him, nodding.

"Dad?" I whisper, glancing as Raph closes the distance between us.

"He was meditating when we left the dojo" Leo answers, looking at me. "Do you want me to get him?"

I nod again, feeling tears jump in my eyes, and I had no idea why I started tearing up, but neither of them commented on it, for which I was glad. "Please" I mutter, and Leo nods, nudging me gently before leaving the medbay.

Raph reaches out, wrapping his arm around me and helping me sit up. Immediately my head rushes, and I topple forwards. But Raph keeps me upright.

"Woah little bro" He breathes out, steadying me.

"He's still weak" Don says softly, eyeing me with concern. I just nod numbly, leaning forwards until my forehead was touching Raph's plastron. The latter chuckles softly, the sound rumbling his chest. I could feel another pair of hands hold me up, and Raph carefully picked me up while Don was holding me up.

Unspoken teamwork.

I smile, allowing Raph to carry me to the living room.

"Michelangelo!" I heard dad call out, and my eyes immediately landed on dad.

"Dad" I rasp, struggling slightly in Raph's hold. Dad chuckles, taking me from Raph like I was a small child.

"I am so glad you are alright" He whispers in my ear, carefully sitting down. I shift slightly until I was leaning against him, and I could feel Don drape a blanket over me. I smile gratefully, turning back to dad again.

"m'glad to be back" I mumble.

"We're all glad you're safe little bro" Raph whispers, sitting down next to me and carefully wrapping the blanket around himself as well. But I'm too tired to move, happily nestled against dad's side. Leo and Don sit down as well, and before I knew it some movie started playing.

I didn't pay attention at all, I could feel my body pulling at me, begging to sleep. And before I knew it I was fast asleep.

Home with my brothers and dad.

 _Safe_.

TMNT

So I hope I did right by you BrightLotusMoon. I didn't know a lot about Clairvoyant, but the thing that a lot of people mentioned on forums and stuff was sensing things, knowing to do stuff without actually "knowing" it, if that makes sense, and seeing colours. So I tried to incorporate that.

It may be a bit vague at times, or fast-paced, but that was basically how Mikey experienced it I feel like. Everything happening too fast, not knowing what they wanted from him exactly and not understanding the thoughts, feelings and colours etc that came rushing at him. Almost like opening your eyes for the first time and being terribly overwhelmed by everything around you. Also, the explosion was caused by a gas leak because of Mikey bursting a pipe with the axe :)

So I hope you liked it! And if you did, please remember to give it a thumbs u-... I mean, please leave a review! ^^ *Failed attempt at making a joke*


	6. Chapter 6

**Another request, this time for Sparklinglight99! She wanted a story where Mikey becomes depressed, with brotherly fluff of course! And your wish is my command. Hope I did it justice!**

(Mikey's POV)

It started when I was 11 years old, it started when dad started to yell at me, it started when I didn't feel welcome in my own family anymore. It happened when I messed up, when I did something bad. It started when bullies started to mock me for my looks.

It started when boys from my school decided to attack me for the way I dressed, for the way I acted and for the way I spoke.

I wish I could say that, I wish I could give this feeling a starting point. But the reality was… I couldn't. It started with me, when I was born, when my brothers and I were mutated maybe. But for as long as I could remember, I had been the odd ball out of the family.

I was never the most important one in the family, but that was okay, at least, it had been for many years. I was never as good as my brothers, and I would never-

"Mikey!" Raph yelled from the other side of the door, and I startle upright, whirling my head around. I immediately slam my diary under my bed, glancing at Raph as he opens the door. "Training is beginning, hurry your ass up" Raph gestures to the dojo, or where it would be.

"Coming" I smile, my muscles pulling awkwardly at my lips. It didn't feel right to smile anymore, but I couldn't show that. I couldn't show my family how badly I just wanted to … stop. I just wanted the world to stop turning, the days to stop changing. Life to continue like it always did.

I just wanted everything to stop.

Raph rolled his eyes, walking away before I could get up. I take a shuddering breath, tying my mask around my head before grabbing my weapons and leaving the safety of my room.

"Michelangelo, my son, so nice of you to join us today" Dad announces, and I suppress a wince at the tone of his voice. It was an accusing tone, as if he was blaming me for being late, _for keeping them all waiting_. I mentally shake off the thoughts, returning the greeting and sitting down next to Don.

I stare blankly as dad talks, explaining what we were doing today, and what exercises we were doing.

"Michelangelo, you go with Raphael. Leonardo, you go with Donatello" Dad finishes, and I can see Raph grin towards me. I ignore him for now, standing up and walking over to my place, standing in front of Raph as dad instructed us to.

"Prepare ta get yer butt whooped" Raph snickered, taking out his sais. I force a grin on my face, grabbing my own weapons.

"Not this time, bro" I smirk, waiting for dad to give the sign. I allow Raph to make the first move, charging at me without any restraint. I sidestep, lashing out with my chucks. Raph easily deflects as well, his fist flying towards me. I felt it connect with plastron, and I jump backwards.

"That's just sloppy" Raph teases, sweeping low to catch my legs, but I narrowly avoid them. I grit my teeth. _It was, it was sloppy._ "Geez Mikey, bad day?" Raph snickers, charging in again. I shake my head, flipping out of the way to avoid the hit from Raph.

I turn a couple of times in the air, landing on my feet without a problem.

Before I could attack Raph, however, he stuck me from behind. I yell in surprise, suddenly feelings my legs disappear from beneath me and I was sent crashing down to the ground. Raph was immediately on top of me, a sai held to my throat as a sign that he had won.

I immediately tap out. Raph smirks.

"Are ya getting worse, or am I getting better?" Raph snickers, getting up. I glare at him, silently getting up. _Stop it!_ I mentally yell. _Don't let them see your anger, just be happy_. I take a shuddering breath, turning away from Raph and walking over to the spot to sit down.

Raph nudges me carefully, a concerned look on his face.

"Don't worry bro, someone erased all the pizza in my dream" I joke, and Raph snorts at my explanation, but it seems like he bought it. _Of course he bought it, he thinks you're a screw up, a baby._

A numb feeling washes over me the moment Raph turns back to watch Leo's and Don's fight, satisfied with my answer. _Help me!_ I mentally scream, staring at him. _Notice me, please._

 _I'm falling apart and nobody notices_.

TMNT

 _I just had to get out, I just had to_. I keep telling myself over and over again as I allow my feet to carry me. My lungs burned, my head felt light, but I pushed on. It didn't matter anyways, _you deserve this, idiot._ I continue to run, ignoring the tears obstructing my view. _Don't think about the exhaustion, you deserve it_.

I knew where I was going, and I knew where to step.

It wasn't long before I arrived, and I felt something calm wash over me. I slow down, walking over to the small stash of water bottles I kept in this place. I suppress a grimace as the lukewarm water slides down my throat, but it was still soothing despite its temperature, so I don't stop.

I gently set down the bottle, glancing over to the wall, filled with drawings, paintings. It was my place in the sewers, a place that was just for me, and something that I didn't share with my family. _Something I was good at_. I grimace, glancing at the paintings before snorting in disgust.

Who was I kidding, they weren't even good.

I glance down at the ground. _But I liked making them, I liked wasting hours to come here_.

I carefully walk over to the wall, sitting down in a cross legged position and grabbing my stuff. I felt comfortable here, at ease when I didn't feel this way at home. It was an escape from my home, and an escape from myself I guess. I didn't have to play pretend here, I didn't have to pretend to be happy here.

' _Hajime!'_ I wince slightly, dipping my brush into the paint without thinking.

' _You are sloppy today, Michelangelo. Why?_ ' I scowl at the thought, squeezing my eyes shut for just a moment before gazing at the painting in front of me again. This was the reason dad, this was the reason I was late for something I didn't enjoy doing. This was the reason I was too tired to do something I didn't like.

I was doing something that I did like.

' _Who knows what you four did wrong today?'_ Dad asks softly. The brush gently stroked over the wall, the canvas harsh and unrelenting. But it was something, it was calming.

'We didn't watch out backs?' That's what I had said, because I knew that's what we did wrong. I take a shuddering breath, allowing my mind to wander anywhere else. But it didn't work.

' _Wonder whose fault is that?'_ I don't think Raph meant for me to hear that, or rather, I don't think he meant to say it out loud even. But he did, and even if he hadn't, it didn't change the fact that he thought like that. he already blamed me, he blamed me for messing up training before he even said so out loud.

"Don't think about it Mikey, just don't" I mumble to myself, grabbing another brush instead. I continue the painting in front of me, turning my mind off. But the thoughts kept running through my head. I was a mistake, an idiot who couldn't keep up with the rest of the family. Why was I being punished for it?

I grit my teeth, brush lowering against my will.

Why was I being punished for not liking something that the rest of my family did? That the rest of my family was good at? _Because I had nothing else to contribute to this family_. Leo was the leader of the team, he was the eldest, the most skilled in being a ninja, and the most devoted to the Hamato Clan, except dad.

Raph was the muscles, he protected us in fights, he was the strongest. He worked hard as well, not just as a ninja, but he trained in strength, so he could protect us from the bad guys. So he could carry us when we were down. He saved us multiple times before already. He added value to this family by being the protector.

Don's specialty wasn't in being ninja, but that didn't mean he wasn't a good one. He could hold his own, he could defeat our enemies still. But his specialties were technology, and his brain. He makes our machines, he makes the technology we used every day to live comfortably, and safely.

He made the heaters we use to avoid our bodies shutting down during the winter, he made the lights so we could see clearly. And he was the family doctor, without him… I don't think we'd all be here today. Just like we wouldn't be here without Raph, or without Leo, or without dad.

But me? Not me. I contributed nothing.

I was like Don, I didn't like training like Raph and Leo did, but outside of being a ninja, I contributed nothing. I added nothing to this family, not even in ninjutsu.

"And whose fault is that?" I mutter under my breath, glaring at my feet. _Mine, that was my fault_. Everything used to be so easy, but that was before my brothers got jealous, especially Leo. I wasn't supposed to be better, I wasn't supposed to surpass my older brothers in something they liked.

I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to put effort in hurting others, I didn't want to make my brothers hate me. So why did they still hate me for it? They hated that I didn't pay attention, they hated that I goofed off, they hated when I didn't put enough effort in ninjutsu. They didn't care that I didn't want to.

They only cared because I had nothing else to bring to this family.

 _And they were right_.

TMNT

I carefully unwrap the bandages around my right arm, limbs trembling ever so slightly. _Was I seriously considering this right now?_ My whole body was itching with something, something I couldn't explain. _I feel like I'm about to explode out of my own skin._

 _Mikey, stay with Donnie._

I carefully grab the tiny razor blade, shuddering slightly at the feeling. A whine escapes my throat, and I drop it again. _No, this is a bad idea._ I glance at the object again. _But what if it helped? What if it did help get rid of this constant…. feeling? A feeling I had no way of describing_.

 _Why do I always get stuck Mikey?_

Tears were lingering in my eyes, falling and falling, replaced the moment they fell. I grab the razor blade again, tears dropping onto my wrist. The blade rests against my wrist, and I let out a sob. _I can't do this, I can't do this. What if I go too far? What if my family find out about this?_

I sniffle, wiping away the tears.

 _I don't want him._

Honestly, I didn't blame him. My fingers trembled, loosening around the blade again. I couldn't, I really couldn't do this. Music continued to blast through my room, the key still in the door as a sign it was locked, I was alone. And even if I hadn't locked it, nobody would bother to check on me.

 _I don't want him either, and I'm in charge_.

Nobody cared, they didn't care about me.

 _Well, then make Raph take Mikey._

Yes, that's okay, that would be okay. I would keep quiet, I would follow Raph, and help April get her father back. I could do this, just… not do the only thing that you contribute to the family, keep them happy. Even while I wasn't.

 _Over my dead body_. I froze, I had frozen back then. My mouth was dry, my body numb. I would've done anything to feel something back then, get rid of that numbness that was spreading through my body like a wildfire. Feel, feel like I was feeling the tears stream down my face right now.

I wish I had said something. It would've been so easy to say something, instead I said nothing. _Just take him Don._ Shut up, please shut up. I wish I had said that, I wish I had protested. But no, I couldn't, April's dad was more important than my feelings right now, right?

They didn't care, _you're so useless Mikey._ I sob, bowing my head. Music continued to play through my room, loud enough to draw out the outside world, not loud enough for my family to hear it from the pit, and not loud enough to keep all the voices away.

 _Idiot_. Stop it. Tears continued to stream down my face, and I didn't care about stopping them. _You're so useless, a waste of space._

 _I don't want him._

 _Why do I always get stuck with Mikey?_

 _Just take him._

 _I don't want to._

 _I JUST WANT IT TO STOP._

My hand moves before I can even comprehend it. The blade enters my skin so easily, sliding through it like a knife through butter. Blood seeped through the wound at an alarming rate, and I could do nothing but blink. Everyone around me was silent, numbness spreading through my body within seconds.

It felt good, it felt quiet. My eyes burned, and I almost laughed. _It was quiet…._ And I was bleeding. I blink a couple of times, carefully reaching over and putting a piece of gauze over the wound. A slight pain shoots through my arm, but I soak it up, closing my eyes with a shuddering breath.

And for once, everything felt right, everything was quiet around me.

Even if it really wasn't

TMNT

I didn't even want to move right now. I just wanted to turn around, and curl tighter around the blanket surrounding me. Everything felt heavy around me, as if my blood was made of lead, and weights were holding my body down. I felt like I hadn't slept in days, even if that was the only thing I had been doing lately.

Force myself out of bed, train with my family, get scolded for not performing well, go back to bed, force myself out when we were going on patrol, before happily climbing back in bed when we got home.

I groan softly, rolling over to my side until I almost tipped over the edge of the bed. I sluggishly get up, sitting on the bed with the same heavy feeling in my body. I stare down at my wrist, blinking a couple of times. Red and angry marks criss-crossed my wrist, some healed, some new.

How long had it been since _that_ day? How long has it been since my brothers tossed me around, spewing that they didn't even want to be paired with me?

1 month, 2 weeks, 5 days and around 13 hours. And my brothers probably didn't even remember it had happened in the first place.

"Mikey!" Leo yelled from the other side of the door suddenly. "Don't be late for training, _again_ " He yelled. I sigh, turning my eyes back to the state of my wrist. They hadn't even noticed I started warning my wrist straps a bit higher up, a bit thicker every day. True, it was hardly recognisable.

But family should recognise it, they should've noticed it the first time.

 _Did I want them to?_

I shake my head, walking over to the drawer and slowly wrapping both my wrists with the wraps. I should ask Don about making me some sort of sleeves instead of these wraps. _No, I really can't bother him, he's already so busy_. I slowly put on the rest of my gear, grabbing my mask on the way out.

"Michelangelo" Dad snaps the moment I walk in. I can feel my heart sink, but I try to keep a straight face. "This is the third time this week that you have been late" He speaks. It has been weeks since he tried to ask for an explanation, knowing that I couldn't come up with a good one.

I was just too tired to get up, but the only time I told that story, he told me to go to bed earlier.

"I'm sorry sensei" I mumble, tying my mask around my face as I walk over to my spot.

Sensei shakes his head. "I do not know what is wrong with you as of late, my son" He says softly. I can feel ice run through my body. _Wrong, wrong, wrong, dad thought there was something wrong with me_. "Today you will be meditating while your brothers train, afterwards you will stay to train individually"

All I could focus on was the disappointment that was in Dad's eyes.

TMNT

Tears were streaming down my face, but I didn't care, I didn't care about anything but the blood streaming down my wrist. I didn't care about anything except the blade disappearing into my flesh.

 _He hates you, dad hates you. You're worthless, he likes Raph better, he has always been disappointed in you_.

I drag the blade across my right wrist again, blood joining the rest of the blood. _It just wasn't enough_. I needed more, I needed it to stop hurting, I needed everything to stop hurting. I just wanted it to stop. A sob tears out of my throat, and I drop the razor blade with trembling fingers, staring blankly at my wrist.

I didn't want to die, I just wanted everything to stop. I just… I wanted dad to love me.

" _Raph give it back!" I shout, reaching for the remote. But I can't bring myself to actually get up, opting to glare at my older brother instead._

" _Nu uh, I want to watch this" Raph countered, and I shake my head._

" _Too bad, I was watching this" I retort, reaching for the remote again but Raph keeps it out of my reach. "Raph!" I snap, not caring about acting more irritable. It was my turn, dad said I was allowed to watch television after dinner, Raph already had his turn today. Raph shakes his head again, changing the channel._

 _I growl low in my chest, jumping at him. Raph startles at the sudden attack, but wasn't fast enough to avoid me. I hit him straight in the chest, and we both tumble down on the ground._

" _Give it back" I yell, but Raph easily rolls me onto my shell with his strength. I yell in frustration, squirming under Raph's hold._

" _Michelangelo, Raphael!" I could suddenly hear dad yell through the lair, his walking stick thumping on the ground. "Is it too much to ask for a few hours of quiet?" He continues, clearly angry._

" _Raph doesn't want to give me the remote" I tell him, but dad shakes his head in disappointment._

" _Leave it Michelangelo, let Raphael watch his program." Dad orders, immediately turning around. I felt myself freeze under Raph's hold, and I don't even see the smug expression on Raph's face as he climbs off me, turning back to the television. Tears jump into my eyes, and I slowly scramble onto my feet._

 _Dad choose Raph over me_.

SHUT UP! I yell mentally, growling and standing up. My whole body was itching for… something. I wanted to hit, I wanted to yell, trash my room, ruin my furniture, anything. Tears blurred my vision, and I fall back on the bed, careful not to let my arm touch the bed. I was crying over nothing.

I was crying because dad told me to give Raph the remote, so why did it hurt so much? I sob, reaching for a piece of gauze and putting it against my wrist.

 _It wasn't enough anymore_.

TMNT

 _I went too far_.

That was my first thought the moment the tanto enters my wrist. I pale at the blood spewing out of my body. It wasn't relaxing anymore, it hurt, it hurt a lot. I could feel my head started spinning, and I could only open my mouth in a silent 'oh'. There was too much, I went too deep, too far.

Fear coursed through my body, and I could feel tears burn in my eyes. Blood continued to bubble up, already leaking down my arm and staining the bed. _Shit_. I scrambled off the bed, hurrying to the other side of the room. Blood smeared across the dresser, but I didn't care right now, ripping it open.

Blood still bubbled up from the wound, and I ripped the gauze out of the package as quick as I could, pressing down against the wound. I hiss, tears pouring down my face. My head spun, and I sway dangerously, just barely containing myself from crashing to the ground. I sob, the sound clawing its way out of my throat.

 _I went too deep_.

I snap my head down to my belt, fumbling with it before grasping my phone. Blood smeared across the device, and my fingers trembled too much. The device slipped out of my hands, clattering to the ground. I stumble, arm flying out to stabilise myself. I wince as my lamp falls down, shattering upon hitting the ground.

My head swirled again, and that's when everything went black.

The next moment I'm blinking heavily, head pounding relentlessly. I could feel my heart beating rapidly, and it was almost impossible to draw in a breath. I could feel blood pooling under me, and my body freeze with a realisation; _I was going to die here_. I sob, trying to turn on my side but my body wouldn't listen.

 _I didn't want to die, I didn't want to die_.

There was a sudden knock on the door, and I could feel my heart jolt. I groan, or at least I wanted to. White enveloped my vision, and the next thing I knew was the door being thrown open. Raph immediately froze in the doorway, eyes going wide.

"R-Ra-" I try to say, but I can't even form a proper word, I can't even lift my head off the ground.

"DONNIE, LEO, DAD! GET HERE QUICKLY!" Raph yelled, rushing towards me. "No no no, Mikey. Yer gonna be alright, y-yer gonna be just.. fine" Raph rambled, grasping one of the gauzes that had fallen to the ground. I blink, _when had that happened?_ Raph pressed the gauze against my arm.

I let my head drop, unable to keep it up. I stare blankly at the ceiling, tears streaming down my face, but I had no energy left to fight it. Raph was screaming at me, nudging me, touching me, _crying_. I couldn't respond even if I wanted to. Leo joined… Donnie joined. They were all screaming.

I… I didn't respond.

I was out before I could see dad.

TMNT

(Raph's POV)

I frown slightly, a low groan filling the quiet room. I furrow my brows, feeling the skin rub against the arm I was currently using as a pillow. It was probably nothing, just my imagination. I take a deep breath again, willing myself to go back to sleep again. My back was aching, protesting against my current position.

But I refused to leave Mikey alone right now. So I ignored my back, and stayed in the same position, using the side of the cot to get some sleep as well.

Something moved next to me, and I immediately snap my eyes open. Because I didn't imagine _that_ , that was real. And that could only mean one thing. I sit up straight as fast as I could, wide eyes staring at the figure that was now looking at me with tired and confused blue eyes.

"Yer awake" I state, and Mikey blinks a couple of times, before his eyes trail to his right wrist. My face falls, and I gently reach out for the wrist, putting my hand on top of the bandages hiding the wounds, the self-inflicted wounds. My throat feels tight, and I can't get myself to speak.

What could I possibly say?

"Please say something" Mikey rasps, tears jumping into his eyes. I can feel my heart break at the vulnerable voice.

"Why did ya do it?" I found myself asking, tears burning in my eyes. I bite the inside of my cheek, forcing them to go away. I didn't want them now, I had to be strong, I had to be strong for my family, for Mikey. The latter glances down, a single tear dripping down his face at the question.

"To make everything stop" He whispers, and I can feel my body freeze at the implication.

"Do ya wanna die that badly?" I force out of my throat, and Mikey looks up in horror, eyes widening. There's a short silence, but Mikey quickly shakes his head.

"I don't want to die Raph, I just want _everything_ to stop. The noise in my head… the feeling I need to hit something… trash something. I just wanted it to stop"

"But ya.. cut yerself. Why would ya do that if…?" I stop myself, swallowing thickly. Mikey glances at me with a guilty expression.

"To stop everything, to stop myself from hurting." Mikey stops himself as well, glancing away from me. "I did it so living would be more bearable… because I don't want to die, Raph" Tears jump into Mikey's dull blue eyes, and I reach forwards, gently turning his face towards mine.

Blue eyes meet my green ones, and silent tears stream down Mikey's cheeks. I gently brush them away with my thumbs, and Mikey does nothing but stare at me with eyes that are filled with so much sadness. I should've realised sooner, I should've noticed he was unhappy, I did notice he was.

 _But I didn't do anything_.

I basically ignored Mikey's withdrawn behaviour, his more moody behaviour. The fact that he seemed more tired, that he seemed to pull less and less pranks as time went by. But the only thing I could focus on was how much I fought with Leo and Don because of Mikey's absence, how tense the lair got.

"You have to believe me, Raphie. I don't wanna die, but I just can't… stop" Mikey sobbed, and this time, I allowed my tears to fall as well.

"I will always believe you, otouto" I whisper. "We're gonna get through this together okay? Yer gonna be okay"

"Please help me" Mikey whispered, and I nod firmly. I reach forwards, wrapping my arms around him. He sobs against me, leaning into the embrace.

Mikey was far from okay, but he hadn't shut us out yet, and that meant he could, would, be okay.

TMNT

(Leo's POV)

"Mikey?" I ask softly, and my little brother glances up at me. "Can I ask you something?" I ask.

"You just did." Mikey grins, but it wasn't his usual grin. I could see he was trying to make jokes, calm the situation and make us less worried. But the cat was out of the bag I guess, and now it was, we could see Mikey like he truly was right now. Suffering from depression, and self-harming tendencies.

I look at him with a stern voice, and Mikey seems to realise my throughs, shrugging and nodding at me. I take the invitation, sitting down on the couch next to him.

"Can you tell me why you started hurting yourself?" I ask, and I can see Mikey's breath hitch at the question. "I'm not forcing you, Mikey. I would understand if you don't want to" I tell him. _I'm not asking as a leader right now, I'm asking you as a big brother. Not because I'm worried for my team._

 _But because I was worried for my baby brother_.

Mikey gnaws at his lip, glancing at the now exposed cuts. Don had stitched the cuts, the ones that hadn't healed yet. After Mikey had been released from the infirmary, we had all decided it was better if Mikey had no means of covering them up, so we could see if he relapsed, and Mikey agreed.

That didn't make it any less difficult for him.

"I guess I noticed when we were 7. That was two years after we started learning ninjutsu, and dad started teaching us more difficult moves." Mikey muttered, glancing at me with guilty eyes. "They weren't difficult for me" He adds, and right now it's my breath that hitches at the implication.

And the memories that came along with it. The glares Raph sent towards Mikey, how mad I was at my baby brother when he flipped perfectly on the second try, and I still didn't get it despite practising 10 times already. Only Donnie wasn't jealous, but that was to be expected, Donnie rarely got jealous.

Especially over something he wasn't passionate about.

"Tell me we didn't-" I whisper, but I was unable to finish my sentence. _We got jealous… and of course Mikey would_ -

"Don't feel jealous dude, it was my decision." Mikey retorts softly. "But when I saw Raph and you were getting jealous… I kinda stopped showing off" I wanted to yell at him, scream at him that he wasn't showing off, that we were wrong. But I knew yelling wouldn't accomplish anything right.

It would only scare Mikey even more.

"You didn't have to, Mikey" I whisper, voice barely audible because of the sob stuck in my throat. Mikey's gaze softens slightly.

"I wanted to, you were so happy when you got the hang of those moves the first. You love ninjutsu, it was only fair for you to be the best"

"That doesn't excuse it, Mikey. You shouldn't have to fake being bad at something so I don't feel bad" I protest. Mikey looks down, fiddling with his wrists. I find myself glancing at his wrists, something I had done a lot the last few days, ever since Raph had found him in his room.

I was glad Mikey agreed to not cover them, but ever sight of them felt like a punch in the gut, seeing the angry lines on his wrist, lines he made himself. Because we were shitty brothers to him all those years.

"I didn't mind, Leo. I never liked ninjutsu the way you did."

"You never liked the violence." I deduct, and he shrugs slightly. It wasn't a secret Mikey was the most kind hearted one of us. He didn't kill, he believed everyone had a redeemable side, except Shredder maybe. He had one of the most deadliest weapons, but he'd rather make it more difficult for himself than risk breaking someone's skull.

The only time he has really killed, and one that would haunt him forever, was saving my ass. He didn't hesitate killing that foot soldier, but he did it fast and effectively, making sure that he never felt the pain. Raph, Don and I were different. We didn't like killing either, but we would to make sure our family was safe.

But the biggest difference was that we weren't necessarily bothered by killing someone. So whenever I could, I would deliver the last blow, or Raph would. I made sure Donnie didn't have to, but even he had a larger kill count than Mikey would ever have.

"I didn't" Mikey confirmed. "It was okay, you were happy, and that made me happy. But.. the more I made you happy, the more you got angry at me" Mikey continues with a soft voice. I gently reach out, squeezing his shoulder gently.

Mikey glances at me, smiling slightly.

"It was okay though, until we.. went to the surface, I guess" Mikey continues. "Life became harder, we got injured more and you guys just got so much more somber. I tried to cheer you up, but you said I had to stop goofing around, take life serious for once"

"I shouldn't have, Mikey." I interrupt softly, and Mikey shook his head.

"No, you shouldn't have. But you did Leo, all of you, you called me a goofball, a screw up-" Mikey stops, tears streaming down his face, and an anger blazing in his eyes. "I didn't know what to do Leo. I thought I would take life seriously like you said"

I'm silent, completely silent. Because before he continues, I know exactly what he was referring to. _And I should've noticed it then_.

"I became serious, I took training seriously even when I didn't want to. And you guys didn't take me seriously, you mocked me for being serious. And you-" Mikey's voice rises almost dangerously, and he fixes his gaze on me. "You were jealous, I could see you were jealous, and you wouldn't talk to me that day."

"Mikey-" I whisper, feeling tears stream down my face.

"Don't deny it, Leo. Please don't" Mikey whispers, not even bothering to hide his own tears. I glance down, biting my lip.

"I won't deny it, Mikey" I start softly, reaching out for his hands. "I think we need a family meeting for this, we've had secrets for far too long" I continue, and Mikey frowns slightly.

"What do you mean?" Mikey asks, eyes immediately glancing down at my wrists. He almost hesitantly reaches for the wraps but I shake my head, stopping him.

"Not that, Mikey" I tell him gently, trying to keep any judgement out of my voice. "I don't hurt myself, but I keep things from you guys as well. I realise now that that's wrong. Each other is all we have in this world, and we almost lost you because of secrets."

Mikey glances up, bright blue eyes staring at my sea blue ones.

"Call the rest." Mikey tells me, and I smile ever so slightly. There was unconditional love in his eyes, a willingness to help despite his own problems. Mikey deserved the whole world, he was too good for us, and we messed it up so badly by allowing him to get this far.

So I nod, standing up to get the rest.

TMNT

"Why have you brought us all together, my son?" Dad asks softly, and I glance at him. We were all sitting in the dojo, per Mikey's request. Because, ironically, he felt most at ease talking in the room. There was a certain feeling in that room he stated.

"A family talk is long overdue, dad" I say, the last word almost wrong for me to say. We had been taught since we were small children that dad was 'sensei' in the dojo. But right now he wasn't our sensei, he was our dad.

"Therapy session?" Raph snorts, but the usual sarcasm misses from his statement. It was a dead giveaway that he wasn't opposed to one.

"Mikey told me.. why he did the things he did." I glance at him, but Mikey nods at my statement, giving me permission to tell. So I turn back to my family again, all sitting in a circle, and I told them what Mikey had just told me not 20 minutes ago. I told them everything I could remember.

How Mikey told about our jealousy when he was better at ninjutsu, how he stopped 'showing off' so we wouldn't be jealous, and mad at him. How he tried to make us happy, but we didn't appreciate it. How he tried to be serious, but we shot him down, laughed at him for trying to be something he wasn't.

 _And how jealous I got because he tried_.

"So why do we need to talk with the whole family? Not like I'm against it" Don speaks up, eyes focused on Mikey for a moment before turning to me.

"We need to stop with the secrets, because it almost cost us Mikey" I mutter, and I can see Raph wince at the forced memory.

"What are you suggesting, Leonardo?" Dad asks, and I glance at him, before glancing at Mikey. He was equally as confused right now, he didn't understand why I suddenly wanted the family conversation.

I force myself to keep looking at my baby brother. "I remember when Mikey suddenly became serious. I was surprised for sure, and happy at first, but…-" I stop for a second, taking a deep breath. "When you showed how good you really are, better than all of us combined, I didn't just become jealous. I became scared" I tell my family.

"Why would you be scared?" Mikey asks softly. I glance at dad this time.

"I was scared dad would take away my leadership, that he would think I wasn't good enough. Being the leader in this family is the only thing I'm good at, if I'm not the best anymore, what am I good for?" Mikey face falls at the statement.

"Leo…" He whispers, and I wipe away the tears from my cheeks.

"I was scared to lose my value in this family, Mikey. Not because I didn't want you to become better, or because I was jealous I wasn't the best anymore" I hiccup slightly, rubbing at my eyes before turning back to my family again. "That's why we need to talk as a family, our insecurities hurt our baby brother, and we can't let that happen"

"That was very brave of you, my son" Dad whispers, voice as sullen as he had been when he found out Mikey hurt himself. "But you should know that I would never take this away from you. Leadership isn't about who is the best at ninjutsu, it is about who is best at leading the team. You are the most level-headed of the team, the most rational one. The skills of your brothers will never influence your ability as a leader"

Dad spoke in a determined voice, looking at me with warm brown eyes.

"Thanks dad" I spoke, using my palm to wipe away from more tears.

"I thought about it" Don suddenly whispers, staring at his hands, body tense. He slowly looks up to me, shame clear in his eyes. "Hurting myself" He clarifies and even his voice was laced with shame.

"Why?" Raph croaks, tears shining. And it seemed, for once, that Raph didn't care about keeping up his macho appearance. He hadn't for a long time, ever since he had had that breakdown after he found Mikey all covered in blood. He had thought Mikey would die, and he couldn't handle the thought.

The thought that the same could happen to Don…

"Because I'm not as good as you guys are in being a ninja" Don admits softly, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Don.. the only reason we don't hibernate is because of your heaters, the only reason we're all still alive is your medical knowledge. You provide so much to this family, I don't think we would've survived if you hadn't been here" I say, but I can't say I'm too surprised. I knew Don was insecure.

I knew he doubted himself, I just never knew it was this bad.

"I know, but I'm a bad ninja, and with you all being so good at ninjutsu… I just feel like a burden sometimes, especially topside" Don mutters, wrapping his arms around his legs, bringing his knees up to his chest.

"Donatello, you are useful in this family. Your strengths are equally as needed as the strengths of your brothers. Your brothers are right in pointing out the value you've brought to our living conditions. Despite your claims, you are still a formidable ninja, and I couldn't be more prouder"

"Thanks" Don mutters softly, glancing at Raph. The latter's eyes widened ever so slightly as he realised that he was next. I could see Raph weighing his options for a few seconds, before he sighed, bowing his head.

"I feel like I'm weak. I'm supposed ta be the protector of this family, but I fail you guys so often. I allow you to get hurt in battle, I create danger by running head first into the battle.. I-I hurt you with my anger." Raph struggles to find the right words, and I could feel my eyes burn again. "Sometimes I think yer better off without me" Raph mutters that last part.

"Did you ever think about…?" Mikey whispers, stopping himself and gesturing to his wrists. Raph's face hardened, and he shook his head.

"Never." Raph stated, and I could hear he was telling the truth. "But I recognise what ya said Mike, when ya said you wanted to hit something, when you felt something crawl under yer skin. That's why I work out so much, to let my emotions out, and become stronger"

"The same emotions can be interpreted, and shown, differently by each person. Michelangelo and you have always been the most led by emotions but Michelangelo's passive nature has made it unable for him to turn to violence the way you calm yourself" Dad spoke softly, and I could see the sorrow in his eyes.

Raph glances at Mikey, who was looking right back at him. It was like there was an unspoken conversation between them, something that wasn't uncommon between them. Raph and Mikey were always the closest, how far apart they seemed to anyone outside the family.

Dad was right about them both, they were the most led by emotions, they just displayed it differently. Raph hid everything with anger, because he had always been insecure. Mikey hid his emotions by laughter, and his laughs, but they were both insecure. And they had always been drawn to each other.

Mikey was the baby at heart, and Raph was the protector, it made sense.

I had always been more connected to Don. We were both more rational, more level headed, so obviously we were more drawn to each other. That didn't mean I loved any of my brothers more or less than the other.

"I suspected you four to have insecurities of your own, every teenager has. I did not suspect these insecurities to run so deeply-" Dad's eyes roam towards Mikey, a sad look crossing his features. "Or for them to almost destroy or family"

Mikey looks down at the mention of what he has done.

"Leonardo, you were right to bring us four together. I realise now that we need to be more open about our emotions" Dad continues. "It is due to our mutation that we solely rely on each other, and insecurities within a family can be devastating if that's all we have in this world"

I nod absently, dad was, of course, right about that. Because of our mutation, we had no one else to turn to, except a few humans. But we didn't have much of a life outside our family. We didn't go to school, we didn't play sports with kids our age, we couldn't go outside to play with kids on the street.

Each other, and this family, was all we have.

And that wasn't necessarily bad. We were closer than any family we could think of. We loved each other, and we would do anything to protect each other. But like dad said, if we had insecurities within this family, it was difficult, if not impossible, to get away from them like normal kids could.

"I should've noticed it, I'm so selfish" Mikey mutters, rubbing his eyes. "You were all struggling and yet… I'm the only one too weak to cope with it. I'm just…" Tears were flowing from Mikey's eyes right now, and I can feel my heart break for the millionth time these past few days.

"Yer not selfish, bonehead." Raph snaps, a familiar fire burning in his eyes. A fire that showed the love he had reserved for us, and only us. "Yer not weak, don't ya ever think that."

"But I .. hurt myself." Mikey hiccups, rubbing at his eyes. Raph is the first one to break the circle, dragging himself over to Mikey and hugging him tightly. Mikey allows Raph, burying his face in the latter's chest.

"Yer not weak Mikey, just because ya have a different outlet for your emotions doesn't make you weak. You made a mistake." Raph gently puts both hands on Mikey's cheeks, forcing him to look at him. "Ya made a mistake, but yer gonna get better, because you're strong. And we will help ya"

"We're both gonna be better" Mikey whispers so softly.

"We all will" I affirm, closing the distance between them, and wrapping my arms around Raph and Mikey, dragging Don with me into the hug.

"You're not weak Mikey, you're so strong. And I couldn't be more proud of you." Don says, allowing me to squash him between Raph and I. He only looks up as dad walks over to us.

"I am saddened by your stories, but we will get through this, together, as a family." Dad spoke, wrapping his arms around all of us. "I love you so much, my sons" Dad murmurs.

TMNT

Done! Pfff, this turned out to be so much longer, and I don't regret any of it, my grades might tho xD  
Hopefully I did your request justice! Lemme know what you all think.

See ya!


	7. Chapter 7

Request for Eeveemlp! There are some subjects in here that some might find upsetting, full disclaimer is at the bottom to avoid spoilers for those who do not want to be spoiled. But please be warned.

TMNT

 _Stupid_.

 _Shouldn't have gone out today_.

I pant harshly, jumping over to another building. I could feel blood stream down the side, pain running through my entire body, searing my nerve endings. But I ignored it, I just continued to run. _Run, run, run._ That's the only thing that was important right now, keep running and _not_ get caught.

Sweat trickled down my face, mixing in with the blood. One of them had gotten in a lucky hit against my cheek. It wasn't even that bad, but it would probably scar, and it stung like crazy. It was an extra reminder that I needed to _run_.

There was a shout coming from behind me, but my legs burned, _I couldn't run harder_. I could hear them getting closer, slowly but surely. I grit my teeth, putting as much strength in my jump as I could. Wind whipped around me, and I swiftly landed on the next rooftop, bolting immediately.

There weren't many, I had fought of the most of them, but there was still too many for me to fight off, especially in my current condition.

 _Of course I didn't have my communicator the exact day Hun decided to hunt us down_.

And of course it was this exact day that I decided to sneak out of the lair. The guys probably hadn't even noticed I was gone. They probably hadn't even noticed how upset their comments had made me. I can feel a jolt of panic going through me as a shudder wracked through my leg.

I let out a frustrated yell, pushing myself further. Something shot past me, and I yell again, this time out of surprise. The weapon clattered to the ground just inches in front of me. I don't look at it, run straight past it.

"You can't run forever, turtle!" Huh yelled behind me, and I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from shouting something back. _Just run, Mikey, just run_. Another shout behind me, and suddenly felt something wrap around my ankles.

"Aargh!" I cry out, ankles slamming together. My eyes widen, and I can see the ground rapidly nearing me, before I slam into the roof with a loud thud. I groan, hands immediately flying towards my belt to grab a tanto. My skin screamed in pain, but I ignored it, slashing through the ropes around my ankles.

I scrambled upwards, trying to sprint away but something barrelled into me the moment I was on my feet. I grunt, sidestepping and delivering a quick blow to the man's larynx with my elbow. The man gurgled, stumbling backwards. I was gone before another one could attack. I jump across the roof, sprinting away.

My right side burned. My arm, my leg, even my side. And I knew I must've left behind some serious amount of skin during my fall.

And then suddenly _pain_. I cry out, tumbling down onto the next rooftop with frantic hands going to my leg. Blood coated my hands, and a searing pain originated from the back of my thigh, unrelenting. My head whipped around, seeing the goons near me, one with a gun in his hands.

A whine leaves my throat, and I try to stand up, turning around quickly. But my leg gave out immediately, and I crash to the ground immediately.

"Finally." Hun huffed behind me, and I could feel two goons sitting on top of my shell. I cry out as one touches my bulletwound, but the only response I got was a laugh. My arms were pulled back, and I could quickly feel something wrap around my wrists, _chains_ , and forcing them together.

The goons got off, rolling me onto my shell forcefully. I grunt, feeling my hands scream in protest under my shell.

"You should've just given up immediately, turtle." Hun hisses.

"Bite me." I retort, glaring at him, and squirming in my bonds. Hun barks out an amused laugh, glancing at his men.

"Not yet, turtle, not yet." He mused, jerking his head towards me. The goons pick up on the sign, and one of the goon reveals a syringe, walking over to me with confident strides. My heart jumps.

"Get that away from me." I hiss, jerking in my bonds, but it was useless. Two other goons pinned me down, and the other injected whatever was in that syringe into me. My head swirled almost immediately, and I didn't notice the fist coming at me until it connected with my face.

And then everything went black.

TMNT

I groan softly, pain rushing into my head, and travelling down my spine like a raging fire. I scrunch up my eyes, warily opening them. My vision was glazed over, and I had to blink furiously to clear my vision. _I wasn't alone_ was my first thought, sending a jolt of fear through my body.

"He's awake." A voice spoke, and I blink even more, until finally 4 figures came into focus, 3 purple dragons and Hun. I swallow thickly, turning my neck slightly but the satisfying crack wouldn't come. I groan, focusing my gaze on Hun again, or at least, I tried to. My vision kept blurring, and going in and out of focus.

"It is the drugs." Hun said with a smirk on his face, walking over to me. I glare at him, but Hun merely snickers, grabbing my face.

My hands were tied up above me, my wrists together and holding me up. I could feel metal wrapped around my ankles as well, but they were bolted to the ground with two small chains. I barely had any wiggle room, _and no way to attack_.

"Fuck off." I spit through clenched teeth, but Hun's thumb dug deeper into my cheek. Then my brain just.. stopped, that was the only word I could find to describe what happened. It was as if someone had knocked me out but I could still _see_ and _feel_. But my thoughts were suddenly _gone._

Hun's lips crashed against mine, and somehow the only thing I could do was widen my eyes. He titled his head slightly, pushing his tongue against my lips to force his way in. It was then that something suddenly clicked in my brain, and I bit down, _hard_. Hun yelped at the contact, immediately pulling away.

"I like 'em feisty." Hun comments, grinning. His teeth were stained with blood, and instead of feeling satisfaction, I felt my stomach turn violently. "But I can't have you fighting too much." He added, gesturing towards me with his eyes trained on his men. They seemed to understand what he wanted.

And before I could protest, I felt another needle sink into my neck. I growl, something animalistic tearing out of my throat. My head immediately started to swim more, and my limbs felt as if they were rapidly being filled with lead. Hands grabbed my wrist, and I warily look up.

My vision blurred, in and out, in and out of focus. The chains around my wrists were released from my shackles, and my ankles were completely freed before I was slowly eased onto the ground.

"L'mgo" I slur, weakly pulling my arms towards me, but the goons wouldn't let up, bolting my wrists to where my ankles were just attached. I groan in pain as Hun grabs my leg, feeling around until his fingers found the bullet wound.

"With that bullet still inside?" Hun taunted, stabbing the wound with his finger. I cry out, head swimming and black spots tainting my vision. I could faintly see Hun grin, fingers coming up wet. I only see it for a few seconds before the hand grabs my cheek again, pinching it almost painfully.

But I barely felt it. I whimper, trying to squirm away but my limbs didn't even want to listen anymore, twitching uselessly above me.

One of the goons snorted. "Freak"

"Hold him still." Hun commands, taking his bloody fingers off my face and going straight to his belt. I can feel my heart plummet, but I'm powerless to move. The sound of the zipper, fabric brushing against skin. I look upwards, forcefully swallowing down a sob that was building up in my throat.

 _Pain_.

It was all I could feel when Hun moved initially. Just the _movement_. I could feel something tear out of my throat, but I couldn't comprehend it. I couldn't hear myself, I couldn't hear anything besides my ears, my head, rushing with blood. The crimson liquid whirling around my head, deafening everything.

"Useless freak."

Tears were trailing down my face, slowly streaming down the side of my face and dripping onto the ground beneath. _Drip_.

"Slut."

My shell scraped over the ground ever so slightly, sweat spreading across my entire body.

 _Pain._

 _Pain_

… _my vision started to blur_.

I closed my eyes, allowing numbness to wash over my entire body. I just felt him move, and yet I didn't feel anything. I heard the sound, and yet I didn't hear anything. A low thud, another thud. A groan, air _shooshing_ as if someone had struck it, had fought against it where I couldn't.

Numbness, emptiness, that's all I could describe it as.

"You fucker." Someone said, and I frown slightly. That wasn't right.. ears rushing… blood pumping so viciously… the sound barely audible. The voice was screaming.. but all I hear is a whisper.

"Shit." The body moved again… I almost didn't feel it. There was pain… but no pain. And then he was gone, the contact was gone… but the pain stayed.. no, no pain. Something wet trailed down my sides… I didn't feel it.

"Mikey?!" Green appears in front of me… _I didn't see… I couldn't see them._

 _When had I opened my eyes?_

"Mikey can you hear me?" I just stared… that's all I could do. Stare at _green_. Burning.. slowly it started to burn travelling up.. and up… and up. Mind… head swirling as if I was spinning, round and round and round.

Sensations, colours swirling around me. Eyes burning, body burning.. It hurt.. and yet, I couldn't feel, couldn't see. I was okay.. _numb_. Arms wrapped around.. hands under him.. didn't do anything. Cold… _then warm_. Suffocating.. but warm. Heavy… back and forth.. back and forth.

Up.. down

Up.. down.

Hurt.. numb.. and heavy.

I blink a couple of times, colours coming onto focus. Light.. burning and burning… flickering back and forth.. slowly.. warmly.

My limbs felt stiff, and I carefully ran my thumb across … I frown slightly. There was something wrapped around my shoulders.

A sound from besides me, but I couldn't hear it.. didn't care for it. My fingers closed around the fabric, rubbing it back and forth. The texture was soft… familiar, and safe.

"Michelangelo?" The soft voice next to me asks. I blink a couple of times, slowly turning my head towards my right. The brown fur.. covered with robe. His arm was slung around me.

"Dad?" My voice was raspy, painful to ease. I wince.

"Are you with me my son?" He asks softly, turning towards me. I whimper, burying myself closer against his side.

"It is alright my son, I am not going anywhere." Dad assured me, pressing a kiss on top of my scalp. "You are safe here." He continues.

"I-I.. don't get it." My voice felt foreign, as if it wasn't mine.

"Your brothers found you a few hours ago, they brought you home where you have been unresponsive ever since." Dad explains softly. And I blink a couple of times again. "How are you feeling?" Dad asks, and I glance down. There was a bandage wrapped around my thigh, the bullet wound throbbing ever so slightly.

It was a dull ache, almost as if it wasn't there at all.

Which was weird, since dad had just told me that it hadn't been long since it happened. But then my eyes land on the needle that had been inserted into my arm, connected to a bag of clear fluids.

"It is pain medication." Dad explains, but I stay focused on the bag.

"Why am I here?" I ask softly, finally turning my head back. Dad frowned slightly, before understanding dawned down on him.

"I felt you might be more comfortable in my room as opposed to the lab." Dad spoke, and I nod numbly. I bring the blanket closer to my body, wincing as pain shoots up my spine. "It seems as though you are due for some more medicine." I wince slightly, nodding without a word.

Dad moves slightly, before gently picking me up. He cradles me close, and I can feel a wave of _safeness_ wash over me. Not shame, not sadness, or pain. I just felt safe in dad's arms, like I was a small child again, without having to worry about anything besides things that any child would worry about.

Missing a cartoon, getting a bad grade..

I close my eyes as dad lifts us both up, and I allow him to carry me outside the room, slowly but steadily making his way over to the lab. I just tuned everything out, only trying to listen to the rhythm of dad's heart as it continued to beat. _Thud, thud, thud_.

 _Thud_.

I snap my eyes open at the noise, and even dad turns around. My eyes are sluggish, but they immediately focus on the three figures standing in front of the entrance.

"My sons, you are home early." Dad comments, but their only focus was on me. I squirmed slightly at the attention, only causing more pain to spread through my body.

"Mikey." Leo is the first one to speak, and Raph was gone before he could finish the sentence, running over to me. Leo and Don followed immediately afterwards. I whimper.

"Tomare!" Dad commanded, and they immediately stopped. "We do not want to frighten your brother. Let us go to Donatello's lab as Michelangelo is due for some more medicine." Dad explains in a soft voice, already heading towards the lab before any had the chance to respond.

"You didn't have to stop them." I whisper, so only dad would hear it, and dad chuckles.

"I could sense you were frightened by their sudden approach." He whispers back, walking into the lab and carefully putting me down on the cot. I sniffle slightly, adjusting my blanket around me.

"When did he wake?" Don asks, glancing at me with sad and desperate eyes, and I shiver slightly. _I didn't want them to look at me like that, I didn't want anything to change_.

"He ain't in pain, is he?" Raph asks, and I can see dried blood on his fists, and I frown slightly.

"I'm still here." I whisper, causing everyone except dad to look at me. Still, they made no move. "Raph." I whimper, but it seemed to be enough for him, and he immediately made his way over to me.

"Is it okay if I…?" He asks softly, staring at me with fierce green eyes. I nod, and he carefully climbed onto the cot as well, wrapping an arm around me. I let him, burying myself against his side and dropping my head onto his shoulder. "I gotcha, otouto." Raph whispers.

"When did he wake up?" Don asks, and I glance at dad.

"Not too long ago." Dad responds, finding the medicine he was looking for. Enough to kill most of the pain without making me too drowsy. Don bites his lip, taking a few steps towards me.

"How did you find me?" I whisper, not able to stand the silence, or the awkward tension around the room.

"We went looking for you a few hours after you left, and we found the mess you left behind on the rooftops." Leo started with a heavy voice. "We knew it was Hun and his purple dragons so we went to Casey for help, and he knew in what area they were most active."

"It was a blind search from there on, but we found 'im because of two dragons patrolling outside." Raph continued, and he looks down with tears burning in his eyes. "We were too late otouto. If we had been a little earlier.. if we went looking for ya a little sooner…" He takes a deep breath, a tear falling.

I shake my head. "I don't blame you, you came for me." I whisper, and Raph looks down with wide green eyes, almost as if he didn't believe I would forgive him. I smile slightly, wiping away the tear trailing down his cheek. He huffs, gently taking my hand and lowering it.

"How can ya say that?" He asks.

"I trust you, ni-chan." I state, carefully turning over Raph's hand. He frowns. "But you didn't have to kill him for me." I whisper.

"Actually, it was Leo who wanted to kill him." Don said, and this time I frown. I couldn't really hear what he was feeling, regret, guilt, was he pleased? I glance at Leo, who was staring at the ground, teeth almost grinding on top of each other.

"We didn't though." Raph said softly.

"You didn't?" I frown, glancing at his bloody hands again. He wasn't the only one, Don's plastron had blood on it, and I could see the bandages around Leo's feet were tinted with crimson red.

"Let's just say he won't be walking anytime soon." Don snickers, and Leo eyes at him.

"Or ever." Leo murmurs with a frown on his face.

"What did you do?" Dad asks, but there was something _off_ about the tone, as if he didn't actually care about the answer as much as he usually did. He walked over to me, sitting down on the free spot on the cot.

"Paralysed him below the waist." Don spoke shortly, and I can only nod. Because to be honest, I had already guessed that's what happened. And really, I was just relieved they didn't kill him, I didn't want my brothers to become murderers like _that_. We had all killed before, but always out of self-defence.

 _Not out of revenge_.

' _Freak'_

' _Slut'_

I shuddered slightly as dad gave me the painkillers, feeling a lot of the pain flow away.

"Do you-?" Don started.

"I don't." I cut him off softly, but Don immediately stopped. _I don't want to talk about it_ , because I knew that what he was going to ask. "Not yet." I add, and Don nods softly.

"What do you want to do Mikey?" Leo asks, walking up to me with worried eyes. I reach out for him, and he grasps my hand firmly. It felt comforting, knowing Leo was here to protect me, they all were. "You don't have to talk just yet, but I hope you can understand that we don't want to leave you." He speaks softly, and I could almost hear his voice crack.

' _Useless freak'_

I shake my head. "I don't want to be alone now either." I tell him, and Leo cracks a hesitant smile. "Can we just watch a movie in the pit?"

"You said it little bro." Raph grumbled, nudging me slightly. I humn, laying my head on his shoulder again. He just pulls me closer to his side.

Leo and Don quickly set up the pit, and Raph helped me get there. I was wrapped up tightly in a blanket, and Raph sat down next to me again, immediately wrapping his arms tightly around me. I snuggled closer to him, and he gave no complaint when I pillowed my head on his shoulder again.

Leo and Don were close to me, and even dad had decided to stay.

I didn't even pay attention to the movie that was playing, closing my eyes. I didn't _want_ to think about the reason why I was here, I didn't _want_ to think about what had happened today. And I didn't _want_ to think about the constant feeling of feeling dirty, or just wanting to scratch my skin raw.

I didn't tell them.. _tomorrow_ I vowed myself. I would tell them tomorrow, but tonight I just wanted to pretend nothing was wrong.

I wanted to wrap myself up and forget everything outside the pit. I relished in Raph's warmth, and how protected I felt because I knew he was watching over me, and so was the rest of my family.

And… and that was enough

At least for tonight.

TMNT

Done! Pfff this took me way too long, I've just been so busy with school, but I just finished my exams and now I finally had time to finish it. Hope you liked it!

TMNT

 **Warnings for: rape, (involuntary) drug use and injuries.**


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